Crucianize

Tag: Sahm

  • Postpartum Bra Shopping

    Postpartum Bra Shopping

    Featured Photo by Uliana Kopanytsia on Unsplash

    Bra shopping used to be one of my favorite things to do when I was younger, I was a 32A from the time I hit puberty right up until I had my son at 26. I don’t normally care for shopping in general but I would browse the Junior bra section for hours finding new bras, I easily had over 10 pairs of bras, one of my biggest problems was that I thought I was too small (thanks society) all the bras I had were more aimed towards younger girls who were just getting their first bras, nothing in the women’s section was in my size. I had never even heard of Sister sizes, if you don’t know what that is stay tuned because I will talk about it further down in this post. I’ll never forget that singular day in school when I overheard two boys talking about girls’ bodies and when one asked about mine the other said “She doesn’t have a body”. That point was later solidified when I was in my mid-twenties and surfing Blackplanet, one of the most popular groups among the men was one where it said something like guys preferred “Bad Grades C, D, E, F”. There was no mistaking that they were talking about breasts and what they considered to be bigger sizes. There I was being bombarded with the idea that men didn’t care for slim women with small breasts and I had no breasts to speak of so they obviously didn’t care for me. I want to say it didn’t bother me but I would be lying, I didn’t care about attracting anyone but the thought that I was unattractive was troubling. I often wished for bigger breasts (silly, silly goose) just to be thought of as feminine. I should explain that I was very much a tomboy before this hyper-awareness of my “lack of body”, I frequently wore baggy jeans, big shirts, backward caps, I hanged out with my brothers and cousins all the time so I was essentially one of the guys, I didn’t care for skirts and dresses and all those girly things my parents said was for girls. I was happy as I was even though people often asked me what I was…

    Despite the occasional wishful thought for bigger breasts, I was fine, I began wearing dresses and skirts and cultivating a feminine side that isn’t hyper-feminine. I wore make-up but not a full face, I still don’t know how to blend eyeshadow or know what half those toners and cc creams, and serums are for but I’m fine with who I am.

    When I was pregnant with my son, I joined a few Birth Boards and one common theme was women’s breasts growing and leaking milk, I didn’t experience any of this, I guess my body was too busy trying to provide nourishment for my baby. I didn’t think it would happen to me but it did.

    One day I had my baby and the next I had my breasts. I remember it so vividly, I woke up with HUGE (in my eyes) breasts, my milk had come in and I began to leak like crazy, it’s a good thing my son was exclusively breastfed because this was crazy. It’s funny the things you learn about your body after having a baby. No one ever told me about Letdowns but up to this day, I can still remember the tingle I’d get, and then the leaking would begin. My usual 32A bras were not going to do so we quickly went shopping and I ended up with a C cup, I don’t really remember what band size it was but it was probably wrong.

    My son nursed for one and a half years, I originally wanted to do baby-led weaning but I ended up pregnant and in the hospital for 4 days and after that, he just lost interest in nursing. There I was fresh from the hospital without another baby and my first baby didn’t want to nurse anymore. I was sad we wouldn’t have that bond anymore and fine with it at the same time because I wouldn’t have to be nursing him all hours of the day and night.

    With the end of nursing, I found that I needed to buy new bras once again. Here was a new problem though French bras don’t use the same system as the US bras, both the cup and band sizes seem to be bigger letters and numbers, what should be a C is actually a D, and what is a 34 is actually a 90! Imagine my shock when I go from a 34D to a 95E but they are the same exact size. I think everything about the sizing system over here made me think I was bigger, fatter than I actually am. To find a good bra my husband and I looked up international size conversion charts and then I just tried on different bras until I found one that fit.

    I was content with my bras, they mostly fit but it seemed I kept having to buy a new one as soon as I got used to my newer bigger size. Sometimes I ended up with a really good fitting bra and buy two different colors but one of them doesn’t fit, right? I don’t understand how that happens but it did several times. Some of my biggest bra issues in the last year were falling straps, too tight band, and gaps at the top of the bra where it should have been flush against my skin. I thought I was at the biggest reasonable size but boy was I wrong. One day in my mom group one of the other moms posted about a Reddit group called A Bra That Fits and there was a calculator you could use to find the right-sized bra for your body. You can find the Calculator here. I don’t remember what the calculator said was the ideal size for me but I remember thinking they were joking because it was a smaller band than I was currently wearing but a bigger cup, I decided to do some more reading on the group and learned all kinds of interesting things. Your size it seems isn’t the most important aspect of finding a bra that fits it’s the shape of your breasts. It’s a lot to get into and if you want to read more I suggest heading over to the subreddit and reading the beginners guide. This is my most recent results from the calculator: 28FF/G in the UK, 75H in French sizes, and 28F in the US.

    These are not full charts they are aimed mostly at showing how I found my French and European size from the US or UK size. If you are interested in seeing a full chart I suggest Googling International Size charts, there are lots of different charts available.

    75H is not a very common size to find here in France, most if not all the common stores only go up to Cup size E, and if you’re lucky you can find band size 110. Here is where knowing your Sister sizes come in handy. A sister size is a bra that is either a larger or smaller band but the same cup volume, for instance, I can’t find a 75H here but I can usually find a 90E, 95D, or 100C, these are all Sister sizes meaning they might fit me just as well or better than my original size. You’ll notice I omitted 80G and 85F, well that’s because they are not readily available which I had the pleasure of finding out when I needed a new bra after starting to breastfeed my daughter and I couldn’t go into the store to try on any bras during the pandemic so my poor husband had to go in and try to find one of the numbers I tell him. I sent him to find a 75H, no, 80G? no, 85F? no, what about 90F? it looks like it would fit. Fine, and it was for like a few months until I looked at the calculator again and realized it was not the correct size!

    This is not a full chart, I focused mostly on the Sister sizes of my own results, to find a chart suitable for you I recommend Googling Sister Sizes with your Country name on the end. I also limited the sizes to what I found was mostly available at the sites I frequent.

    Now I have the right Sister sizes I ordered bras more suitable for my shape and fullness, I’m hopeful that I have finally found my bra that fits!

  • Getting Ready for my OPI Rainbow Voxbox

    *Includes Affiliate links

    Hey guys!

    So it’s been almost three weeks since I posted about looking forward to September, usually, I would have had my OPI Rainbow Voxbox at least two days after receiving the You’re In! email but…Covid.

    The days were passing without a box and everyone was getting worried because Influenster doesn’t provide International tracking so the tracker never moved past this:

    This campaign is active in the US, UK, and France and it seems the US got their boxes but the UK and French boxes were nowhere to be seen. I sent a message asking if the boxes had been shipped yet since no one in the UK or France received their boxes and afterward I received this email:

    Basically, the email is saying they just learned that I hadn’t received my box yet and they were experiencing shipping delays and I should expect my Voxbox in one to two weeks.

    My nails are jacked and I said I would look for some falsies to do the campaign. I honestly didn’t know what brand to get so I searched Amazon France for one with the best reviews. I found these by a brand called Vixi.

    https://amzn.to/3774v4M

    This set includes 600 nails of 10 different sizes. My hands are small, size 2.5 ring! With all these different sizes I know I will find a good match (I hope so anyway).

    The set comes with a little tube of glue but I’m not overly fond of the glues that come with false nails, they have a habit of being very weak. My nails will pop off the very next day if I don’t continuously reapply glue.

    I decided to buy a pack of glue made especially for false nails.

    https://amzn.to/3x8t6ks

    The pack includes 5 bottles of glue and a nail file. The set of nails also comes with a nail file and I have a few of my own already. You can never have enough nail files.

    It’s been about 5 days since the email about the delays so now it’s just a waiting game. I’m guessing I’ll get it around the same time as the package from Le Lab.

    Maybe I should say “What’s up, October?” or maybe not. I might jinx it again.

  • Why September Will Be An Exciting Month

    September is looking like it will be a very interesting month for me. I have a lot of new products coming my way to test out and I am excited!

    On August 6, I received a survey about a Voxbox from Influenster, I’ve spoken about them before, it’s a review site where you have the chance of getting a box of products to review. There’s a wide range of things you might be chosen for, food, clothing, beauty products, I haven’t seen any for books, video games, or toys but you never know. I’ve been with the site since 2014 and to my knowledge, they never sent boxes to the Virgin Islands but when I moved here to France I forgot about the site. They didn’t ship here and I had other things on my mind but I decided to go back to it and review stuff just because. In 2018 they sent their first VoxBox to France and I got it!

    The Marc Jacobs Velvet Noir Mascara Volume Spectaculaire VoxBox was my very first Voxbox and I really enjoyed the product. You can read my review about it here Finding happiness in the little things. When you complete the campaign you earn a neat little badge that you can display on your profile.

    In 2019 I got into another VoxBox, I got into the OPI Tokyo Collection VoxBox, I spoke about it here New Voxbox! and here New OPI Tokyo Collection Voxbox. I wasn’t really expecting to get this box because France seems to get two surveys a year and I hadn’t gotten into the last one for 2018 or the first one for 2019. I really loved this box because I almost always seem to pick up purple nail polish and this allowed me to venture out a bit.

    If the trend stays the same the survey I got from Influenster on August 6 is either the first or last survey of the year. I’m unsure because I received a survey on April 14 about Rexona deodorant but nobody even mentioned receiving it on Instagram or online anywhere. Usually, you can see what everyone has received if you follow the right hashtag on Instagram but there has been no real activity on the French Influenster hashtag since last year.

    This survey that I received was about a product from OPI, I’m going to be really honest even though I opted in I kind of hoped I wouldn’t get it because my nails are really terrible right now. I picked and peeled them until there is nothing. I’m going to have to get some falsies to do this campaign. While I was hoping not to and hoping to get the VoxBox, it showed up on my profile but I haven’t received a You’re In! email yet. I’ve heard of this happening to people before but this was the first time it has happened to me. With my first campaign, I got the email and it took a while for it to show up on my profile and I was worried it had been a mistake.

    The other products I’m waiting for are from Le Lab by Doctissimo. On August 5, I received an invite to apply for their Garnier Bio à l’huile de Chanvre Bio (Hemp Oil) campaign. I’ve never been accepted to any of the previous campaigns I applied to so I wasn’t really hopeful but on August 14, I was accepted!

    I will be receiving the Hemp Multi-Restore Gel Cream and the Hemp Multi-Restore Facial Sleeping Oil. I was supposed to receive the package very soon but there were unforeseen delays and I won’t get it until late September. I’m not really a fan of the Hemp smell but Garnier makes really good products so I’ll just have to wait and see about it.

    There’s one other thing I’m hoping to hear about but I can’t say whether or not I’ll be reviewing it yet. Sometimes things work out and sometimes they don’t so I’ll wait until I hear if I’m actually getting it before I say “I’m going to be reviewing this!”

    So, yeah, I’m really looking forward to September.

    I’ll obviously be reviewing these products so keep an eye out for those posts next month. Since I’m supposed to receive the Garnier one in late September it will probably end up being posted in October.

  • My Weekend in Annecy

    My Weekend in Annecy

    Annecy, a city found in the Haute-Savoie department of France. It’s located in the southeastern part of France, where Lake Annecy feeds into the Thiou River, this city has been on my bucket list for a few years.

    I especially wanted to see Lake Annecy, La Vieille Ville, Pont des Amours, and Palais de l’Ile.

    We left on Saturday around 12 pm, the drive took around 2hrs, the weather was not the best, it was overcast and pretty chilly, yes, chilly in June! We’ve been having temperatures in the 50s which are about 12° Celsius.

    As we were driving my son would get really excited seeing the clouds covering the mountains and driving through mist.

    The most exciting thing though was driving through the mountains! I don’t mean over the mountains either, we drive through tunnels that went through the belly of the mountains, twice, and each time it was crazy.

    Yeah, yeah, you might have don’t this before, probably many times, for us especially coming from an island without any mountains it was something really special to see and experience. I only wish I had taken a picture.

    We reached the hotel about 2:55 or so, it was raining a bit and my husband realized we had forgotten the baby carrier, so there we were sans stroller and carrier so my husband had to heft the bag with our stuff and the little miss.

    We hurried into the hotel and quickly got our room key, strangely enough, there was only one key so we either had to all go out at the same time or some go and others stay behind. It was an ok hotel from the little I saw on our way to the room, there was a game room where Naveen wanted to spend some time. The elevator ride was terrible, it was so jerky, and I got bad motion sickness.

    When we arrived at the room I noticed it was kind of small, there were two full-size beds, one fairly close to the door and the other closer to the opposite wall, Naveen was only too happy to have such a big bed all to himself. I think miss lady believed the other one was for her.

    We took a little rest, change Oyanie’s diaper and feed her then we were off!

    First, we stopped at Burger King so that the bigger people could eat then we visited the lake, the rain was still coming down because we were closer to the lake the wind was really strong and those two things made it pretty cold.

    Without the carrier, Oyanie ended up wrapped in her father’s coat, we tried to keep her as warm as possible while taking in the sights.

    The Pont des Amours wasn’t far from the lake, just had to keep walking and there we were, a little ways from the bridge I spotted a giant bow and arrow. I haven’t been able to find any information on it yet but I probably am not searching for the right terms.

    Pont des Amours
    Giant Bow and Arrow

    Naveen was only too happy to have space to run around and explore. He wanted to keep walking but it was still raining and Oyanie was getting tired. We decided to head back to the hotel.

    For dinner we had pizza from Domino’s, it’s been many years since I’ve had a pizza from there, I found the pizzas to be pretty small, we ordered two and had really tiny containers of ice cream and some kind of dessert with chocolate. I didn’t eat the chocolate dessert. The ice cream was enough for me.

    It was a bit difficult to get Oyanie to sleep and after trying and trying she finally went to sleep but I ended up not being able to fall asleep, I don’t know if I was too hot or if I was just too wired to sleep, whatever it was I ended up just laying there twisting and turning the whole night.

    My phone was charging in Marvin’s side of the bed and I didn’t want to wake anyone up trying to reach so I tried to wait patiently until everyone woke up. Thankfully Marvin woke up long enough to hand me my phone.

    Finally, everyone was up and it was time to check out of the hotel but first Oyanie got a bottle.

    I hadn’t noticed it before when we arrived but downstairs in the lobby, there’s a statue of a red cow.

    Everyone was hungry so we decided to go to the bakery, unfortunately, the bakery had a long line as they only allowed one customer in at a time, we were too hungry to wait in line so we took a walk looking for other places to eat.

    Every so often Marvin would stop to look at menus or Naveen would watch stalls with people selling toys.

    Finally, after walking for what seemed like forever, we went into French Coffee Shop, Marvin asked me what I wanted and I looked over the offerings. There were lots of muffins and some other things but what caught my attention was the cheesecake. I don’t know if I’ve ever mentioned it before but I love cheesecake, if I see it I will always want it, so when Marvin asked me again what I wanted without hesitation I said cheesecake.

    Now, things could have gone either good or bad because not everyone can make cheesecake.

    Thankfully, this was not the case, nope, this cheesecake was delicious, it was utterly divine like if anyone would have tried to ask me to taste some I’d stuff the whole thing in my mouth or lick it.

    I had to restrain myself from licking the cardboard but I sure did lick the spoon. Breakfast over with, we walked back to the car and began the drive to go home.

    Now, we’re home, I’m very tired so will probably end this here.

  • Oyanie Made Two Months!

    Yes guys, just like that Oyanie made two months!

    She actually made two months yesterday and I forgot to post it.

    my bad

    Madame Oyanie can roll from her belly onto her back but has yet to master rolling from her back to her belly. She smiles occasionally and never when I have my camera. I’ll get a picture one day…

    She is starting to”talk” to us but she prefers to stare with those big beautiful eyes.

    I honestly can’t believe it’s been two months already, it feels like she’s been here forever.

  • Growth spurts are fun

    It’s almost 3 am and my one-month-old is still fighting sleep, we’ve been battling for a good two hours, she’s been fed, burped, and has a clean diaper. I rock her and her eyes close but as soon as I put her down she cries so I have to start again. I want to cry. I’m running on empty and trying my hardest but it doesn’t seem to be enough.

    Finally, after what seems like forever she settles down and falls asleep.

    It’s 6 am, my husband is getting up to get ready to go to work, and because I’m a light sleeper I’m awake. I’m fatigued and hope I can get back to sleep. It takes a while but I manage it.

    It’s 8 am and my son is waking up, he opens his bedroom door which makes a sound, and wakes me up. I’m bleary-eyed and tired but I know he’ll watch TV and he has everything he needs to make a sandwich so I stay in bed.

    I can’t fall back asleep, I want to so badly but it’s not happening, I pick up my phone and check my notifications, I scroll through Facebook, Instagram, Reddit, and my various genealogy and social sites. The baby is squirming I know she’ll be up soon.

    My son is playing a video game and he’s not winning, I can tell from his anguished screams, my nerves start to fray. It’s 10 am, I think about my life choices and how I ended up here.

    Time passes and the baby is now awake and looking for food.

    It’s time to get up and start our day.

  • Confinement In France With A New Baby

    Hey! Welcome back!

    Today I’m going to talk about being in confinement after giving birth. While I was in the hospital Naveen was on break from school and Marvin was home from work so I didn’t have to worry about who would watch him.

    When I got out of the hospital it was time for Naveen to go back to school but he had a cold so he went one day and was sent home the next and stayed home on Friday. We thought he’ll be fine to go on Monday but then the schools were closed and Naveen never got to go back to school.

    We could still go out at that point so we would go for walks which were important for me since I had to walk for my recovery from the C-section. It was good to be outside feeling the cool air and not being cooped inside the house or stuck in the hospital. I stayed there for a whole week!

    Everything was ok and then we went into confinement, stay home unless you absolutely need to go out, have your attestation of you will be fined, we stayed inside. Naveen didn’t understand why he wasn’t going to school and why we couldn’t go to the park or see his grandparents.

    I tried to explain to him in a way he would understand and I think he got it.

    My husband is still working during the pandemic so it’s just me, Naveen, and Oyanie. Due to Oyanie waking up every two hours at night to eat we usually stay in bed until the afternoon. I try to get a little extra sleep but I’m still so very tired when we get up to go downstairs. Sometimes Naveen comes into the room and lays in the bed with Oyanie and me but he’s mostly up early and downstairs. I try to make sure that he has something to eat and occupy himself with.

    While I’m taking care of the baby I sometimes wonder if I’m neglecting Naveen and try to include him or I’ll put the baby down to give him extra attention. It’s hard having two kids especially now when the baby is so small and needs so much more of my attention.

    Naveen has been a good big brother though, he always asks me if I need help and will bring bottles upstairs for me, reach diapers and wipes, he kisses his sister and wants to hold her.

    He will sometimes feed her so I can make myself something to eat or when I need to do something else.

    I think I’m adjusting well to having two children, especially in these strange times. If I’m being honest I’ve been suffering a bit from being stuck at home, given how my pregnancy went where I was stuck at home with only doctor visits as my time outside it’s only a given that I’d go stir crazy without a reason to go outside. I miss the air and the sun and I wish things go back to normal soon.

    Before I forget to mention it Oyanie made one month on March 22, one month already it seemed like I just had her. Time is going by so fast.

  • My C-section experience

    Welcome back!

    Today I’m going to talk about my C-section experience.

    When I found out I only had two options either attempt a breech birth or have a C-section I was numb, I researched breech births like crazy and they are such a gamble. “What if my baby’s head got stuck in my pelvis?” this was the biggest question on my mind and I just wasn’t comfortable with the idea that it could happen.

    I asked my husband what he thought the C-section was the better choice.

    It was decided, I’d have a C-section, sure there was a chance that the baby could turn down on her own but there was a bigger chance of me going into labor with her still being breech. A scheduled C-section was the way to go.

    February 20 and we’re in the hospital for a routine check-up, they check to see if the baby had turned but she was still breech, here is where it gets crazy…

    The doctor calls in for me to have my C-section tomorrow!

    I thought I would have more time to get used to the idea and read up on aftercare and all that but no, they just drop that bomb on me.

    I’m not going to lie but I cried, I was scared, I had to stay in the hospital and wait for my C-section.

    There I was in a room all alone with so many thoughts going around in my head. I was not expecting this and I didn’t know how to handle this situation. I tried to relax as much as I could and get some rest.

    It’s the next day and I’m waiting for my husband to arrive, the nurses came into the room and wheel me down to check if the baby is still breech, she’s still in her cozy spot under my ribs, I’m wheeled back to my room and told to shower with Betadine.

    I’ve showered and in the hospital gown when my husband and mother-in-law arrive, now we wait for them to take me to the Operating Room.

    We wait and we wait but nobody is coming, finally, in the afternoon someone comes and says that there were emergencies so my C-section won’t happen today. I’m spending another night in the hospital alone.

    Here I am again, another morning full of nerves waiting to get taken to my first surgery, nurses come and go, I’m waiting for Marvin to arrive, I’m terrified of being taken to the OR without him, a nurse comes to the room and tells me I’ll go in the afternoon, all I can do is sit and watch the clock.

    Marvin walks into the room and I’m relieved, I won’t be alone after all! I let him know that they said the operation was going to be in the afternoon. So we wait.

    A little afternoon two male nurses come to wheel my bed down to the OR, they take me down corridors, into the elevator, and finally, to the OR waiting room, Marvin wasn’t allowed in and I wouldn’t see him again until I was taken into the actual OR.

    While I’m in the waiting room the nurses are asking me questions and getting me ready for the operation. All this time I don’t know where Marvin is or if I’ll see him before the C-section.

    The nurses transfer me from my bed to this table like a gurney and wheeled this into the OR, I see Marvin and the nurses start prepping for the surgery.

    It’s time to get the spinal and I’m shaking, it’s a needle in my spine, with my needle phobia I’m a wreck. I have to bend really far forward and they warn me that I’d feel a prick. It was like a bee sting, this was followed by pressure and they lay me down. I started to feel a cool sensation in my lower region, my feet felt heavy but I could still wiggle them a bit. I was scared I was going to feel them cutting into me.

    Up went the curtain, a cap was placed on my head, oxygen was put into my nose, I felt detached from my surroundings. I guess somewhere in my floating they placed a catheter because I did not feel it at all.

    I’m just there watching the blue curtain and occasionally feeling a tug on my body when I hear a baby cry, I’m almost in tears but I hold it in. I cried enough.

    They bring her around the curtain and place her next to me.

    My daughter was out, the first thing I thought was that I wouldn’t feel her head in my ribs anymore.

    Now they’re going to stitch me up, I watch Marvin walk off with the baby and it was back to staring at the blue curtain until they finished. They roll me out of the OR and quickly transfer me back to my bed.

    They want me to move my feet but they won’t cooperate. I feel like I’m in Kill Bill, I kept telling myself wiggle your big toe. I’m not sure how much time passed but finally, I could move my toe and then my feet, once I could move both my legs it was back to my room.

    Once back in my room I see Marvin and Oyanie waiting for me.

    I’m still not feeling my lower region completely and a nurse removed the catheter, I’m supposed to get up and pee on my own.

    My legs feel like rubber and they’re shaking like crazy but I managed to stand up with the help of the nurse, I’m unable to pee so she makes me drink a lot of water and promises to return in an hour.

    An hour passes and the nurse is back, she helps me stand again and once more I try to pee, this time it’s a success.

    During all of this, my incision is painful and I’m taking all the meds they give me.

    I can’t help but compare it to my vaginal delivery and wish I had been able to have another one.

  • Transversal Baby And A Failed ECV

    I originally posted this on my Facebook page so I’m reposting it here.

    Hey guys, I was going to write this post like two days ago but my baby seems to hate sleeping at night right now and I’m seriously suffering from sleep deprivation. It’s afternoon and I’m still in bed where she’s laying on my chest finally sleeping. Since she made a month she’s been in a growth spurt and I know it won’t last long but for now, it’s rough.

    So, today I’m going to talk about finding out that my baby was breech and going for an ECV or External Cephalic Version. An ECV is where they try to flip the baby by pushing on your stomach. ECVs are not always successful and there are risks involved but you can say at least you tried.

    I was about 36 weeks when I heard the word siège, I didn’t know what that was so when I got home I googled it. Bébé en siège is the French term for a breech baby, I already knew that she wasn’t head down because I could feel her head on my left side and in my ribs when she turned. Let me tell you feeling the baby’s head in your ribs is not pleasant at all. Sometimes it felt like she was pulling my ribs apart. I avoided laying on my stomach because that made the pain worse.

    So my baby is breech, I had four options, try an ECV, wait for the baby to turn down by herself, attempt a breech birth, or go for a C-section.

    We opted to try the ECV, I was 37 weeks at that time, I went into labor at 37 weeks with my son so I was a little afraid that I’d go into labor before the ECV. The baby stayed put and we went to the hospital, they had me change into a gown and lay on a hospital bed. I was given pain meds because an ECV can be uncomfortable.

    The doctor came in and tried to explain to me what she was going to do, my French isn’t the best so I didn’t get everything but I understood the gist of the situation. She verified that baby was still in the breech position and attempted the ECV. It was painful, she dug her fingers deep into my stomach and tried to turn baby but because the baby was tucked up into my ribs she couldn’t move her. I was so happy she didn’t try again because I didn’t think I could take that pain for a second time.

    They kept me for an hour or two so that my stomach could stop contracting. Going into labor is one of the risks of doing an ECV.

    With this failed ECV I only had three options left, wait for the baby to turn on her own, attempt a breech birth, or have a C-section.

    I was terrified of having a C-section and the risks of a breech birth were scary. I went home and tried all kinds of exercises that were supposed to help the baby turn down but none of them worked. My baby was content to be up in my ribs and I knew that I would most likely end up having a C-section.

  • Dealing With A Hyperemesis Gravidarum Pregnancy And Gestational Diabetes

    Hey guys, like I promised I’m going to talk a little about everything that’s happened since my break from writing.

    Today I’m going to talk about being diagnosed with Gestational Diabetes.

    So I never had to do the glucose test with that awful drink, with my Hyperemesis Gravidarum there’s no way I’d have been able to do it, instead, I had to do a blood test and when we got the results my midwife said the sugar level in my blood was pretty high which could indicate Gestational Diabetes. She was going to ask a colleague to take a look and that was that.

    About a week or two weeks later I had an appointment at the hospital and there I was officially diagnosed with Gestational Diabetes. I was shocked. Here was this nurse telling me I had to stick my fingers 4 times a day and check my blood sugar before and after eating and I couldn’t eat a lot of my favorite foods. I have a deep fear of needles so this was not something I was looking forward to or even sure I would be able to do. My only relief was that I didn’t have to inject myself with insulin I just had to try to maintain the Diabetes with a diet change.

    So we home with a bag full of items I’d need to check my blood. I felt defeated like I was already suffering from Hyperemesis and pubic pain and now my body was punishing me with Gestational Diabetes. Like everything else in this entire pregnancy I had no choice but to get on with it because my baby needed me to do it and I was not going to lose this baby too.

    The first week was hard, I was so afraid of the needle that I asked Marvin to do it, he complied and I felt like the biggest wuss. It wasn’t painful at all but I will wasn’t sure I could do it myself but I had to because Marvin had to work and I had to check my levels before and after lunch.

    I had to get over my fear, I learned to just go with the flow and prick my finger, it really wasn’t that bad after all.

    The diet change was the toughest part of this thing, I couldn’t eat this or that and sometimes I’d get a spike in blood sugar eating something that was fine the previous day. I have never eaten so many green things in my life, so many unsatisfying meals.

    The following week we were back in the hospital and I was put on insulin, my worst fear realized, I would have to inject myself with insulin. You have no idea how much this terrified me, I would literally shake while trying to inject myself that I was afraid I’d break the needle in my skin.

    Like with the finger pricks I had to do it and I gradually became a pro at it.

    In the end, I can say it was worth it as Oyanie was born at a good size and had no blood sugar issues.