Tag: Pregnancy

  • Postpartum Bra Shopping

    Postpartum Bra Shopping

    Featured Photo by Uliana Kopanytsia on Unsplash

    Bra shopping used to be one of my favorite things to do when I was younger, I was a 32A from the time I hit puberty right up until I had my son at 26. I don’t normally care for shopping in general but I would browse the Junior bra section for hours finding new bras, I easily had over 10 pairs of bras, one of my biggest problems was that I thought I was too small (thanks society) all the bras I had were more aimed towards younger girls who were just getting their first bras, nothing in the women’s section was in my size. I had never even heard of Sister sizes, if you don’t know what that is stay tuned because I will talk about it further down in this post. I’ll never forget that singular day in school when I overheard two boys talking about girls’ bodies and when one asked about mine the other said “She doesn’t have a body”. That point was later solidified when I was in my mid-twenties and surfing Blackplanet, one of the most popular groups among the men was one where it said something like guys preferred “Bad Grades C, D, E, F”. There was no mistaking that they were talking about breasts and what they considered to be bigger sizes. There I was being bombarded with the idea that men didn’t care for slim women with small breasts and I had no breasts to speak of so they obviously didn’t care for me. I want to say it didn’t bother me but I would be lying, I didn’t care about attracting anyone but the thought that I was unattractive was troubling. I often wished for bigger breasts (silly, silly goose) just to be thought of as feminine. I should explain that I was very much a tomboy before this hyper-awareness of my “lack of body”, I frequently wore baggy jeans, big shirts, backward caps, I hanged out with my brothers and cousins all the time so I was essentially one of the guys, I didn’t care for skirts and dresses and all those girly things my parents said was for girls. I was happy as I was even though people often asked me what I was…

    Despite the occasional wishful thought for bigger breasts, I was fine, I began wearing dresses and skirts and cultivating a feminine side that isn’t hyper-feminine. I wore make-up but not a full face, I still don’t know how to blend eyeshadow or know what half those toners and cc creams, and serums are for but I’m fine with who I am.

    When I was pregnant with my son, I joined a few Birth Boards and one common theme was women’s breasts growing and leaking milk, I didn’t experience any of this, I guess my body was too busy trying to provide nourishment for my baby. I didn’t think it would happen to me but it did.

    One day I had my baby and the next I had my breasts. I remember it so vividly, I woke up with HUGE (in my eyes) breasts, my milk had come in and I began to leak like crazy, it’s a good thing my son was exclusively breastfed because this was crazy. It’s funny the things you learn about your body after having a baby. No one ever told me about Letdowns but up to this day, I can still remember the tingle I’d get, and then the leaking would begin. My usual 32A bras were not going to do so we quickly went shopping and I ended up with a C cup, I don’t really remember what band size it was but it was probably wrong.

    My son nursed for one and a half years, I originally wanted to do baby-led weaning but I ended up pregnant and in the hospital for 4 days and after that, he just lost interest in nursing. There I was fresh from the hospital without another baby and my first baby didn’t want to nurse anymore. I was sad we wouldn’t have that bond anymore and fine with it at the same time because I wouldn’t have to be nursing him all hours of the day and night.

    With the end of nursing, I found that I needed to buy new bras once again. Here was a new problem though French bras don’t use the same system as the US bras, both the cup and band sizes seem to be bigger letters and numbers, what should be a C is actually a D, and what is a 34 is actually a 90! Imagine my shock when I go from a 34D to a 95E but they are the same exact size. I think everything about the sizing system over here made me think I was bigger, fatter than I actually am. To find a good bra my husband and I looked up international size conversion charts and then I just tried on different bras until I found one that fit.

    I was content with my bras, they mostly fit but it seemed I kept having to buy a new one as soon as I got used to my newer bigger size. Sometimes I ended up with a really good fitting bra and buy two different colors but one of them doesn’t fit, right? I don’t understand how that happens but it did several times. Some of my biggest bra issues in the last year were falling straps, too tight band, and gaps at the top of the bra where it should have been flush against my skin. I thought I was at the biggest reasonable size but boy was I wrong. One day in my mom group one of the other moms posted about a Reddit group called A Bra That Fits and there was a calculator you could use to find the right-sized bra for your body. You can find the Calculator here. I don’t remember what the calculator said was the ideal size for me but I remember thinking they were joking because it was a smaller band than I was currently wearing but a bigger cup, I decided to do some more reading on the group and learned all kinds of interesting things. Your size it seems isn’t the most important aspect of finding a bra that fits it’s the shape of your breasts. It’s a lot to get into and if you want to read more I suggest heading over to the subreddit and reading the beginners guide. This is my most recent results from the calculator: 28FF/G in the UK, 75H in French sizes, and 28F in the US.

    These are not full charts they are aimed mostly at showing how I found my French and European size from the US or UK size. If you are interested in seeing a full chart I suggest Googling International Size charts, there are lots of different charts available.

    75H is not a very common size to find here in France, most if not all the common stores only go up to Cup size E, and if you’re lucky you can find band size 110. Here is where knowing your Sister sizes come in handy. A sister size is a bra that is either a larger or smaller band but the same cup volume, for instance, I can’t find a 75H here but I can usually find a 90E, 95D, or 100C, these are all Sister sizes meaning they might fit me just as well or better than my original size. You’ll notice I omitted 80G and 85F, well that’s because they are not readily available which I had the pleasure of finding out when I needed a new bra after starting to breastfeed my daughter and I couldn’t go into the store to try on any bras during the pandemic so my poor husband had to go in and try to find one of the numbers I tell him. I sent him to find a 75H, no, 80G? no, 85F? no, what about 90F? it looks like it would fit. Fine, and it was for like a few months until I looked at the calculator again and realized it was not the correct size!

    This is not a full chart, I focused mostly on the Sister sizes of my own results, to find a chart suitable for you I recommend Googling Sister Sizes with your Country name on the end. I also limited the sizes to what I found was mostly available at the sites I frequent.

    Now I have the right Sister sizes I ordered bras more suitable for my shape and fullness, I’m hopeful that I have finally found my bra that fits!

  • How A New Pregnancy Changed Our Back To School Routine

    Hey guys,

    Yesterday my son went back to school and it was both awesome and horrible.

    Usually, I walk him to school, pick him up for lunch, drop him back, then pick him up after school.

    I walk for all of this but since I got pregnant I’ve not been able to walk very far or for very long which proved to be difficult for the coming school year so my husband and I decided Naveen would eat lunch in school this year saving me the lunch trip but that left dropping and picking up. In the end, it was decided my husband would drop him and pick him up.

    That left me free from doing anything which would be too difficult.

    Except now I have nothing to fill my time and I find myself wishing there was something to do. I tried watching a little TV, working on the computer, reading a bit but I wound up just tiring myself and ended up taking naps throughout the day until it was time for both Naveen and Marvin to come home.

    I’m continuously in awe of women who manage to work while being pregnant and even more so for those suffering from Hyperemesis. I’ve noticed that without medication I would be starved, dehydrated, throwing up every hour but with medication, I’m in a dazed state like everything is happening around me and I’m watching it happen from behind a gauzy veil. I’m not sure which state is better, to be honest. Aware but unable to do anything or unaware and able to do some things.

    One thing I’ll be happy about is these posts, without them I’m sure I wouldn’t remember anything from my pregnancy.

  • Pregnancy with Hyperemesis Gravidarum – 2013

    Forgive the length of this post as it’s several of my very old blog that was barely snippets, this post goes from 17 weeks to 33 weeks. At the time I barely had any energy to write on the computer for very long so I would post a quick update and I thought it would be much better if I turned it into one cohesive post.

    Before there was a belly

    September 15, 2013

    This is my belly at 17 weeks 1 day

    The picture was taken June 9th, 2013 when I was in the last part of 4 months, it’s a small belly I know and most people would say “What baby??” but there was a baby in there, he’s still in there today, I’m now 31 weeks but I’ll leave that for another post.


    Still nothing

    18 weeks 4 days

    This picture was taken on June 19th, 2013 when I was 5 months pregnant, can you see it?? The little bump? No? Don’t worry I could barely see it myself. I was assured that I would start to show in my 6-7th month when the baby really started to grow. I didn’t believe it at the time because it was still hard to believe that there was a baby inside there. I had no belly, no fetal movements, no doppler to hear a heartbeat, nothing to keep me believing that there was anything but fat there…yea I know fat?? I’m so twiggy I have no fat anywhere.


    I think I see…

    20 weeks 5 days

    Wait, is that shirt sticking out just a little bit? Maybe…
    Still, 5 months here but my little bump was starting to show itself, at least to me it was. I could see it more in the morning when I just woke up or when I was laying on my belly. I guess with the extra fluid from my bladder it would stick my belly out, even more, it was an uncomfortable feeling though.


    See, there is a belly…kinda

    23 weeks

    Yay 6 months but that’s not much of a belly still…
    Granted I had just turned 6 months so I couldn’t really expect that much growth yet. I was putting back on some weight though, my arms still look twiggy but not as bad as before. See that’s because I had to be put on medication for my severe nausea and vomiting which had diminished my body weight until I was just 83 lbs, it was not safe for me or my baby and it depressed me that I couldn’t eat or drink anything.
    I tried, I tried so hard to eat and drink, if you have never gone through Hyperemesis Gravidarum then you have no idea what it’s like to eat and throw up what you eat minutes and hours after you ate it keeping nothing down and still throwing up after everything was gone. My throat was shredded to the point where I was vomiting blood and losing my voice. It was not a pretty time in my life and it was happening from 6 weeks up to now even but it’s better managed now so I don’t vomit blood anymore and my episodes have been vastly reduced.


    Now you see it!

    25 weeks 2 days

    Ah-ha! I told you there was a baby in there, my little bean was growing and now you can see my little bump. I was in the middle parts of 6 months and feeling kicks, punches, and rolling over from my bean. It was strange to see and feel.

    Week 25 has been the worse since the first trimester, I am very very nauseous all day long and it’s worse at night, when he moves I get even more nauseous and recently I have been up at 2 am and 4 am in the bathroom fighting the need to vomit, sometimes I just lay on the floor and hope my belly settles, others I sit by the toilet, I sniff the cleaner, I sniff Rubbing alcohol, anything to try to stop it! 
    The computer screen was a trigger so I usually turn it off and stick it under my bed when it’s time to sleep but any light seems to be the problem, my bedroom light, the light from the phone, my cell phone screen, I can’t take them, the moving, and my own nausea. I am up to 4 Zofran a day most of the dose being in the night, not to say mornings aren’t hellish either. I usually dry heave when I wake up and then try to go on with my day.
    Naveen will definitely be an only child, I can’t see doing this again or even having it worse, most if not all HG moms have it worse with each pregnancy and I don’t think my body can handle another one of these and I doubt very much that I will forget ANY of this. 


    It’s Getting Bigger

    Week 26

    Week 26 was a week of whirlwind emotions, was the first time I had ever seen the actual foot press into my belly, it was surprising because I was falling asleep and wasn’t expecting it, scared me awake, to be honest. A couple of days later, I woke up with no nausea and that was weird enough but I didn’t feel you moving much, you were kind of quiet last night too so I poked…… and nothing. I poked again still nothing, poked on the other side. Ok, maybe it was too soft, I shook my belly, you had to have felt that but nope nothing. I was getting scared, I got up still shaking and poking, maybe I would feel something, I was totally scared by the time I got downstairs to tell my sister Lissette that I had to go to the hospital because I couldn’t feel you. I have never cried more in my life than I have cried that day, all the whole time still poking and shaking hoping for something, anything!

    While I was busy breaking down, Lissette packed my hospital bag but because she had her kids and Ilya just 1 month old she couldn’t come with me, she called our older sister Leia to come to stay with me. I barely even remember it all because I was out of it, was so scared I had lost my baby after coming so far, through months and months of vomiting and nausea, through going to the ER for IVs. 
    We got to the hospital and it didn’t take them long to roll me up to Labor & Delivery in a wheelchair, they gave me an ultrasound and I absolutely refused to look, didn’t want confirmation of my worst fears but the doctor told me to look and on the screen, I saw the little heartbeat, you were still there, wasn’t moving much but still there. They didn’t like how sluggish you were so they gave me some juice, then a snack because I hadn’t eaten yet. Then they brought me lunch and hooked me up to a machine to check your heartbeat and another ultrasound to fully check you out. After eating so much food and not feeling sick at all I could feel you bouncing all over the place and they could hear your heartbeat and hear you kicking and punching. It was the best and worst day of my life.

    Week 27

    This is the return of my nausea, it crept back up on me slowly but surely. It started with dry heaves in the morning and progressed to throwing up bile then to actual vomiting. Now I am back to not being able to eat much or drink much. I don’t have any prescription either, I hadn’t been feeling sick at my last appointment so I didn’t ask for a refill. Now that I am so sick again I can’t get in touch with either my doctor or my nurses to get a refill on my anti-nausea meds. My next appointment is all the way in September and I have no idea if I will make it, I will try my hardest but I don’t want to lose any of the weight I had gained. I was 95 lbs before I got pregnant and lost 14 lbs to bring me down to 80 lbs, I am now 91 lbs and fighting to get back to and pass 95 lbs. I want to at least be 105 lbs before 30 weeks. Tomorrow I will be 28 weeks so I only have 2 weeks to gain all that weight.

    28 weeks 5 days


    I just made it to the Third trimester here, it was August 29, 2013, and I was 7 months pregnant. My belly had gotten much bigger hey, was continuing to gain weight as well although I had a major relapse with the vomiting and nausea, my prescription wasn’t doing anything for me either, I had to up my dosage and stick to a strict schedule so my body would always have medication in the system.


    Looking Huge!

    Week 29
    This week has been even hotter than the last 103-110 degrees?! Braxton Hicks contractions, nearly passing out when I stand up, feeling faint when it takes a while to eat. At least the kids will be going back to school so I won’t have to hear screaming and running. Naveen has also wiggled his way to the bottom so now I’m getting a lot of pelvic pain as well as BH contractions and increase bladder pressure.

    Week 30
    Still passing out but now I can’t drink anything, no water, no fuze, no juice, not even ice pops are feeling good in my belly. I think my blood sugar is pretty high, I have to stop eating honey on my bread and putting butter on bagels. My appointment confirmed it, my blood sugar is high, I didn’t pass the glucose test so now they have me on the Gestational Diabetes diet which pretty much cuts out a lot of the things they told me to eat to gain weight. The doctor found Naveen’s head low in my pelvis and asked me if I could feel it too, I didn’t feel anything at all and thought he was talking bumpkus. Naveen didn’t much care for it because he started to move around a lot.

    Week 31

    Still passing out and having BH contractions, my mother is convinced that he will come in late October. My body doesn’t feel like my own anymore, it wants to tip over, I have bad backache, pelvic pain, nausea has come back. I wonder if I will ever feel normal again or if this thing has ruined my life forever. I want to be able to eat, drink, sleep, walk and not feel like I will pass out on the ground. I’m falling into depression again, when have I not been depressed this pregnancy? I’m afraid to know how it will be after he is born, will I ever be able to feel good about myself again? Will I always view him as the cause of all this? Will I love him?

    31 weeks

    This is me tonight, September 14, 2013, I’m in the last week of 7 months and the countdown has really begun. Just 9 weeks to go until my bean is out of there, I don’t want him coming before he is ready but I am so ready for him to be out. Do you notice how much fatter my arms look? It’s because I am now 95.2 lbs, I have gained back all the weight I lost and gained 2 ounces, it might not sound like a lot but from dropping to 83 lbs and being so sick for so long it is a major victory to me. I hope I continue to gain weight and reach 100 lbs before he is born. I have never been over 98 lbs in my life so being 100 lbs will be a lifelong dream.
    I wonder how much bigger my belly will get because it is giving me so much backache.


    Almost there

    32 weeks 5 days, I am almost to the finish line, I can’t wait for this to be over. I am so ready for my baby boy to be sleeping next to me instead of inside me. I want to watch his little face, play with his hair, and just watch the little bugger who gave me so much trouble for over 8 months. It’s almost time for you to make your appearance Navi. Excuse the picture background, we’re doing over the bathroom and it had the best lighting at night so I’m always in there to take pics.

    Week 32
    Falling even more into my depression, everything hurts, I’m still nauseous, I feel so alone. I’m useless, I can’t do anything and I have no money to buy anything for Naveen. The only positive thing I can say is that I get cards from the women of Beyond Morning Sickness and HelpHer.org, it feels good to know that I’m not alone and that there are people who know what I am going through. It’s more than I get from family…just one phone call or even a note would have made me feel better but I know better than to expect that. I don’t think I have ever been so depressed in my whole life before.

    Week 33
    Still getting nauseous, especially at night. I take a whole Unisom to help me sleep and it seems to work. I have now developed heart palpations that come on very quickly. I’m ready for him to come out and join the world instead of kicking me up in my belly and making me sick. Get out….but stay put until after my baby shower.