Crucianize

Tag: holidays

  • Trip to Correns and more

    Welcome back or if you’re visiting for the first time hello.

    The last time I posted “The Last of them” my grandfather had just passed away and I was not in a good frame of mind. I’m doing better now, not 100% but I don’t feel like closing myself up in a deep dark hole, I got the space I needed to grieve and I’m thankful for that.

    One of my nieces went on vacation to the beach and my son wanted so badly to join her but the closest beach to us is almost 5 hours away! There’s no way we’d travel that far to go to the beach. Or so I thought…

    On Monday, all smug like, my son said to me “we’re going to the beach tomorrow”, Yeah right, I thought, we’re not going anywhere but his father didn’t say anything to me, then again his father waits until the very last minute to tell me anything. I’m sitting there contemplating this information and whether or not I can trust it when Marvin comes home and asks Naveen if he told me.

    Told me?

    Told me what?

    Naveen said “yes, I tell Mama”, you mean it’s true? We’re going to the beach tomorrow?

    Apparently.

    I had a rough night, Oyanie kept waking up even though she was sleeping for a good six hours, this night she decided four hours was good enough. So there I was on Tuesday morning, tired as hell and have to get up to start packing and making sure we don’t forget anything.

    Everything checked and double-checked, we were on our way, on our to where? I didn’t know. I just knew we were going to the beach. I mentioned before that my husband doesn’t tell me anything until the last minute? Well for trips he doesn’t tell me where we are going at all… I think he works under the misinformation that I like surprises, nothing could be further from the truth, after 10 years I’ve just accepted that he likes surprising me. I’ve never hated any of his surprises so I’ll allow it.

    First, we stopped to get gas, can’t drive for so long on an empty tank eh, that done we started our long drive to the beach, at first I was admiring the scenery as we drove but that quickly turned to fatigue as we continued driving, we’d been driving for almost two hours when I felt the car slowing down, I didn’t see it ok, I fell asleep, it was a very long drive. We took a little break so we could stretch our legs, eat and drink, and just rest for a bit. We still had about two hours left of driving to go. I was curious about what kind of hotel we would be staying in this time and anticipating just dropping onto the bed and staying there for however long I would need. Sitting in the car for so long had made my back ache like there was no tomorrow.

    With our little break over we were back on the road again, this passed by like a blur, I remember a lot of trees and buildings and then water, some of the water was greenish colored but the closer we got to our destination the bluer the color became.

    Finally, we arrived at our destination, this wasn’t like any hotel I’d ever seen before because it wasn’t, we were staying in someone’s air b&b?

    It was an apartment of sorts, the door was one of those really old European doors, an ancient wooden panel with a round knob that looks like it might fall off at any moment, it didn’t though, these doors are pretty strong despite their appearance. Inside was a kitchen slash dining slash living area. Kind of like what we have at home, there’s no definition of space in the homes I’ve visited here in France. There was an upstairs, where I assume were the bedrooms and bathroom but there was one problem.

    The stairs looked like something out of my worst nightmare…

    Apparently, Naveen felt the same because he refused to climb the stairs, we had no choice though, the beds were upstairs and the toilet which we would need sooner or later. His father helped him climb the ladder, I refuse to call it stairs, I followed behind gingerly placing my feet on each rung and holding onto the railing as my life depended on it. If you think going up that monstrosity was bad, going down it was worse, each rung was so narrow I had to try to climb down sideways so my feet could find purchase on each slender step. The worse thing about this was when I had to go up or down with Oyanie in my arms, There I was with my tiny baby held tightly in one arm and the other wrapped around the railing and trying to gauge how far down each step was from the other.

    Naveen became a pro at the stairs, he went up and down like they were nothing, me? No such thing, I took the stairs only if I really needed to otherwise I was fine to stay upstairs or downstairs wherever I was at the moment.

    We didn’t end up going to the beach the first day because it would take another hour and we had reacher too late to go to the beach. We did visit an old wash station where there was a river flowing through. Naveen told his father he didn’t want to go to the beach anymore, he was content to stay here and enjoy the river, we didn’t come all this way for the river though. We were going to drive to the beach the next day.

    A semi-good night’s sleep, Ms. Oyanie was up every four hours again, we had breakfast and relaxed a bit before heading to the beach around noon. The drive was interesting, we followed a canal of water along a very small road, you literally had to ride the wall to let another car pass, at the end of the canal was the beach.

    I’ll be completely honest, being from the Caribbean I grew up with white sand, blue waters, literally beaches of your dreams, this, was not it. First things first, the sand, more like dirt was speckled with something gold that felt like dust on your skin if it touched you. The water was not beckoning at all, add in that there were so many people there, my anxiety went sky high and I was content to stay on the bench we scored under the very shady tree. Marvin asked me if I wanted to go in the water and it was a big no. I’m fine love.

    We spent about two hours there, Naveen enjoyed himself immensely, Oyanie stayed with me most, and Marvin went in the water with Naveen, everybody enjoyed themself and it was time to drive back to the apartment.

    Had an okay night, it was time to head back home which meant another long drive, strangely, going up and down those horrifying stairs gave me muscle aches in my legs, I will not miss them at all. And because I completely forgot that Oyanie made five months yesterday I decided to take some pictures, she was not cooperating at all so I got many many very similar pictures lol. I thought I had settled on the best picture but I felt like the background was too busy and you couldn’t see her face well enough so I moved locations and voilà, the month 5 picture.

    This drive I did better, I didn’t fall asleep so I saw some cool things like this church? on top of the hill, not sure you can really see it in the picture.

    Also saw this really cute tiny castle on a roundabout.

    Finally, we were back home!

    This trip wasn’t the only thing I was up to, I also found this really interesting app on the app store, you upload a picture and people try to guess where you are from, it said to input the furthest back your ancestry went so I entered France and Nigeria. Trying out the app I realized that I really can’t tell where people are from, I get lucky sometimes but for the most part, I guess very wrongly.

    Here’s what people guessed for me:

    The last interesting thing I have to talk about is a secret campaign I was selected for. I can’t say what I’m supposed to review yet but when the package arrived I’ll write a post about it. Stay tuned for that!

    Alright, that’s all, for now, see you guys later!

  • The Fathers in my Life

    Today is Father’s Day, a day I usually don’t care for because of my own weird relationship with my father, so, today I’m going to talk about the many father figures I’ve had in my life and how they lead me to the father in my children’s lives.

    My Father

    Me and my father 1987-1988

    My father is not an easy man to understand, some days you wonder if he even cares, I’ve spoken a bit about this in The Useless Sibling and the truth is it was so much worse, the other day someone asked me what was the best feature of my father that I looked for in a man and I just couldn’t think of one. Almost everything I thought of was something I didn’t want. I didn’t want to be treated as a mistake in my partner’s life and I sure as hell didn’t want him to view or children as playthings for his public persona. That saying that a father is a girl’s, first love? Not even close to being true for me.

    Two of my most vivid memories are of my parents fighting, one where my mother was going to leave the house and had her keys in her hand and my father grabbed her arm and was pulling it like he was going to break it, I jumped on his back and started pummeling him while I yelled for my brothers, my oldest brother came with a broomstick and my father finally let go of our mother. The second incident I don’t remember as well but I remember my mother bitting into his arm and he was hitting her in the head trying to get her loose.

    These were just two extremes but they fully cemented in my head that I didn’t want a relationship like this. I didn’t want a man like this, I wasn’t even sure I ever wanted to get married, all the marriages in my life save one was toxic, cheating, children on the outside, fighting, just a lot of toxicity.

    Uncle Luis

    Now I’ll talk about that one good marriage in my life, one of my mother’s sisters, Aunty Cathy, married my Uncle Luis, from the very first time I remember meeting him he has always been very nice to me. With my Selective Mutism, I didn’t speak to him, I remember feeling very shy around him for a long time but that didn’t change how he treated me, he would talk to me, show interest in my drawings, try my failed attempts at sodas haha, he did everything my father didn’t. My uncle out of everyone in my life is who I based the ideal mate on. My aunt and uncle lived with us for a while and those were good days, I felt heard and seen, I had a good male figure in my life and he treated my aunt really well.

    The day they moved out was one of the saddest in my life, it meant I would go back to being ignored or yelled at for just existing. Even though he no longer lived with us I never forgot the way my uncle treated me, I would look forward to their visits every time.

    My Husband

    Before I met my husband I wasn’t sure I wanted to get married or have children, I was pretty content in the fact that I would be single Aunty Lynnette, the cool and strict aunt. For whatever reason, my cousins believed I was a traveling girl? Meaning that I had many boyfriends and several sexual encounters. That couldn’t be farther from the truth, I didn’t do much as kiss a guy until my husband.

    I mean sure I had lots of male friends but they were just friends, I also didn’t meet any of them in real life, my mother says I’m pretty unobservant because a lot of them were flirting with me but I never noticed it? I like my friends, they’re good men but not for me, they weren’t like my uncle none of the guys I met were like my uncle so definitely not someone I would be interested in forming a permanent bond with.

    I spoke a bit about how I ended up with my husband in My Truths. Before we even had children I saw how he was with his niece and how he was with my nieces, it reminded me so much of my beloved uncle and they were both tall and wore glasses, if this wasn’t the universe talking to me I don’t know what it was.

    Marvin and Chacha

    One of my nieces was so taken with Marvin that she started calling him Daddy, I routinely call her his first child haha, I have to say that even though I was determined to find a man nothing like my father, Marvin and my father shared several similar tastes and qualities. I somehow found a man that was a balance between my father and my uncle.

    The most notable quality between my father and Marvin? Determination. I swear I’ve never seen two people who would never give up until they have accomplished what they set out to do.

  • The Reasons for Rebranding my blog

    As you will no doubt notice I have changed the name of my blog to better reflect the stage in my life I’m in right now. There’s no longer a baby in there and there hasn’t been for a while so it was time to change it.

    Once Upon a Dovy was the hashtag I would have used if we had had a huge wedding with ceremony and invitations but life has a way of changing in a quickness so I’m using it here now since this is who I am now.

    I know many people make new years resolutions and whatnots, I have never seen a point in doing this, this year I think I will. I want to go into 2019 not feeling depressed every day, I want to be able to sit down and work on my crafts whether it’s writing, photography, or crochet. I want to be able to enjoy the things I used to love and maybe pick up some new ones.

    I aim to crochet a temperature blanket, an afghan is way too ambitious for a beginner like myself so I want to start off small. For those of you who don’t know what a temperature blanket is, it’s a blanket where you crochet a row or two in the color that represents the temperature of that specific day, the aim is to have a row or two for every day of the year and you’ll have a unique and interesting blanket with many colors. If I was living back home in the Virgin Islands I’d no doubt have a blanket with maybe just two colors for the whole year but since I’m living in France with its changing seasons I’ll have so many colors, I think I want to add in a little break so I know when the months change, a line of white or something and possibly a heart applique for February since it will be Valentines and my birthday.

    Other than the temperature blanket I want to write more, this year has been terrible for my writing and I’m kind of ashamed of this, I also want to pick up my camera more, there is nothing around me that captures my interest but maybe I can start doing animal photography more since it’s more linked to nature than an old building is.

    Well, I have a pie to bake, Christmas parties and the such which I am not looking forward to…

    Merry Christmas and Happy Holidays, I wish you all have a joyous time and if you suffer from Depression like me I hope you find something that’s worth holding on to.