Today I’m going to talk about my C-section experience.
When I found out I only had two options either attempt a breech birth or have a C-section I was numb, I researched breech births like crazy and they are such a gamble. “What if my baby’s head got stuck in my pelvis?” this was the biggest question on my mind and I just wasn’t comfortable with the idea that it could happen.
I asked my husband what he thought the C-section was the better choice.
It was decided, I’d have a C-section, sure there was a chance that the baby could turn down on her own but there was a bigger chance of me going into labor with her still being breech. A scheduled C-section was the way to go.
February 20 and we’re in the hospital for a routine check-up, they check to see if the baby had turned but she was still breech, here is where it gets crazy…
The doctor calls in for me to have my C-section tomorrow!
I thought I would have more time to get used to the idea and read up on aftercare and all that but no, they just drop that bomb on me.
I’m not going to lie but I cried, I was scared, I had to stay in the hospital and wait for my C-section.
There I was in a room all alone with so many thoughts going around in my head. I was not expecting this and I didn’t know how to handle this situation. I tried to relax as much as I could and get some rest.
It’s the next day and I’m waiting for my husband to arrive, the nurses came into the room and wheel me down to check if the baby is still breech, she’s still in her cozy spot under my ribs, I’m wheeled back to my room and told to shower with Betadine.
I’ve showered and in the hospital gown when my husband and mother-in-law arrive, now we wait for them to take me to the Operating Room.
We wait and we wait but nobody is coming, finally, in the afternoon someone comes and says that there were emergencies so my C-section won’t happen today. I’m spending another night in the hospital alone.
Here I am again, another morning full of nerves waiting to get taken to my first surgery, nurses come and go, I’m waiting for Marvin to arrive, I’m terrified of being taken to the OR without him, a nurse comes to the room and tells me I’ll go in the afternoon, all I can do is sit and watch the clock.
Marvin walks into the room and I’m relieved, I won’t be alone after all! I let him know that they said the operation was going to be in the afternoon. So we wait.
A little afternoon two male nurses come to wheel my bed down to the OR, they take me down corridors, into the elevator, and finally, to the OR waiting room, Marvin wasn’t allowed in and I wouldn’t see him again until I was taken into the actual OR.
While I’m in the waiting room the nurses are asking me questions and getting me ready for the operation. All this time I don’t know where Marvin is or if I’ll see him before the C-section.
The nurses transfer me from my bed to this table like a gurney and wheeled this into the OR, I see Marvin and the nurses start prepping for the surgery.
It’s time to get the spinal and I’m shaking, it’s a needle in my spine, with my needle phobia I’m a wreck. I have to bend really far forward and they warn me that I’d feel a prick. It was like a bee sting, this was followed by pressure and they lay me down. I started to feel a cool sensation in my lower region, my feet felt heavy but I could still wiggle them a bit. I was scared I was going to feel them cutting into me.
Up went the curtain, a cap was placed on my head, oxygen was put into my nose, I felt detached from my surroundings. I guess somewhere in my floating they placed a catheter because I did not feel it at all.
I’m just there watching the blue curtain and occasionally feeling a tug on my body when I hear a baby cry, I’m almost in tears but I hold it in. I cried enough.
They bring her around the curtain and place her next to me.
My daughter was out, the first thing I thought was that I wouldn’t feel her head in my ribs anymore.
Now they’re going to stitch me up, I watch Marvin walk off with the baby and it was back to staring at the blue curtain until they finished. They roll me out of the OR and quickly transfer me back to my bed.
They want me to move my feet but they won’t cooperate. I feel like I’m in Kill Bill, I kept telling myself wiggle your big toe. I’m not sure how much time passed but finally, I could move my toe and then my feet, once I could move both my legs it was back to my room.
Once back in my room I see Marvin and Oyanie waiting for me.
I’m still not feeling my lower region completely and a nurse removed the catheter, I’m supposed to get up and pee on my own.
My legs feel like rubber and they’re shaking like crazy but I managed to stand up with the help of the nurse, I’m unable to pee so she makes me drink a lot of water and promises to return in an hour.
An hour passes and the nurse is back, she helps me stand again and once more I try to pee, this time it’s a success.
During all of this, my incision is painful and I’m taking all the meds they give me.
I can’t help but compare it to my vaginal delivery and wish I had been able to have another one.
I originally posted this on my Facebook page so I’m reposting it here.
Hey guys, I was going to write this post like two days ago but my baby seems to hate sleeping at night right now and I’m seriously suffering from sleep deprivation. It’s afternoon and I’m still in bed where she’s laying on my chest finally sleeping. Since she made a month she’s been in a growth spurt and I know it won’t last long but for now, it’s rough.
So, today I’m going to talk about finding out that my baby was breech and going for an ECV or External Cephalic Version. An ECV is where they try to flip the baby by pushing on your stomach. ECVs are not always successful and there are risks involved but you can say at least you tried.
I was about 36 weeks when I heard the word siège, I didn’t know what that was so when I got home I googled it. Bébé en siège is the French term for a breech baby, I already knew that she wasn’t head down because I could feel her head on my left side and in my ribs when she turned. Let me tell you feeling the baby’s head in your ribs is not pleasant at all. Sometimes it felt like she was pulling my ribs apart. I avoided laying on my stomach because that made the pain worse.
So my baby is breech, I had four options, try an ECV, wait for the baby to turn down by herself, attempt a breech birth, or go for a C-section.
We opted to try the ECV, I was 37 weeks at that time, I went into labor at 37 weeks with my son so I was a little afraid that I’d go into labor before the ECV. The baby stayed put and we went to the hospital, they had me change into a gown and lay on a hospital bed. I was given pain meds because an ECV can be uncomfortable.
The doctor came in and tried to explain to me what she was going to do, my French isn’t the best so I didn’t get everything but I understood the gist of the situation. She verified that baby was still in the breech position and attempted the ECV. It was painful, she dug her fingers deep into my stomach and tried to turn baby but because the baby was tucked up into my ribs she couldn’t move her. I was so happy she didn’t try again because I didn’t think I could take that pain for a second time.
They kept me for an hour or two so that my stomach could stop contracting. Going into labor is one of the risks of doing an ECV.
With this failed ECV I only had three options left, wait for the baby to turn on her own, attempt a breech birth, or have a C-section.
I was terrified of having a C-section and the risks of a breech birth were scary. I went home and tried all kinds of exercises that were supposed to help the baby turn down but none of them worked. My baby was content to be up in my ribs and I knew that I would most likely end up having a C-section.
Hey guys, like I promised I’m going to talk a little about everything that’s happened since my break from writing.
Today I’m going to talk about being diagnosed with Gestational Diabetes.
So I never had to do the glucose test with that awful drink, with my Hyperemesis Gravidarum there’s no way I’d have been able to do it, instead, I had to do a blood test and when we got the results my midwife said the sugar level in my blood was pretty high which could indicate Gestational Diabetes. She was going to ask a colleague to take a look and that was that.
About a week or two weeks later I had an appointment at the hospital and there I was officially diagnosed with Gestational Diabetes. I was shocked. Here was this nurse telling me I had to stick my fingers 4 times a day and check my blood sugar before and after eating and I couldn’t eat a lot of my favorite foods. I have a deep fear of needles so this was not something I was looking forward to or even sure I would be able to do. My only relief was that I didn’t have to inject myself with insulin I just had to try to maintain the Diabetes with a diet change.
So we home with a bag full of items I’d need to check my blood. I felt defeated like I was already suffering from Hyperemesis and pubic pain and now my body was punishing me with Gestational Diabetes. Like everything else in this entire pregnancy I had no choice but to get on with it because my baby needed me to do it and I was not going to lose this baby too.
The first week was hard, I was so afraid of the needle that I asked Marvin to do it, he complied and I felt like the biggest wuss. It wasn’t painful at all but I will wasn’t sure I could do it myself but I had to because Marvin had to work and I had to check my levels before and after lunch.
I had to get over my fear, I learned to just go with the flow and prick my finger, it really wasn’t that bad after all.
The diet change was the toughest part of this thing, I couldn’t eat this or that and sometimes I’d get a spike in blood sugar eating something that was fine the previous day. I have never eaten so many green things in my life, so many unsatisfying meals.
The following week we were back in the hospital and I was put on insulin, my worst fear realized, I would have to inject myself with insulin. You have no idea how much this terrified me, I would literally shake while trying to inject myself that I was afraid I’d break the needle in my skin.
Like with the finger pricks I had to do it and I gradually became a pro at it.
In the end, I can say it was worth it as Oyanie was born at a good size and had no blood sugar issues.
I’m 21+1 today and feeling all the kicks and punches, stretches, and rolls. My son recently got to feel the baby move and he was awe-struck lol he asked me if I could feel it. Baby hasn’t cooperated for Papa yet but I’m sure he’ll feel the movements soon enough.
Aches and pains have blossomed in the form of round ligament pain in my pelvis. I’m in pain turning over in bed, walking, going up the stairs, basically anything. I’m hoping to buy a pillow to use between my legs to help with this pain.
We did find out that we’re having a girl which I’m excited and nervous about, thinking about all the hair fights I’m going to have to deal with!
Speaking of hair, I shaved my head again, not as bald as I was before but enough that I didn’t have to struggle to take care of it. I was really down about its state after my sickness and just decided a fresh start is what I needed.
I’ve been walking to the park with my son more since he’s on vacation and I think it’s doing me some good. I’m no longer super tired and run down when I get home but I am out of breath sometimes. I try to rest when we reach the house and let my body relax.
Things are going well in the meantime so I’ll end this on a good note.
I know I haven’t shared an update in a while so here it goes.
I’m doing much better HGwise, I’m what you’d call medicated fluffy, I don’t have any nausea or vomiting unless I eat something that doesn’t agree with my belly or I miss a dose of medication. For about 10 weeks I’ve only vomited once after eating a banana that didn’t sit well. The only downside is I’m still suffering from a lack of energy. When I go out I have to sit or I feel like blacking out. If I can’t sit I stoop down until the feeling passes. It’s really unpleasant and makes going out difficult since I don’t go anywhere for the whole week.
I’m now 16 weeks 5 days, on Tuesday I’ll be 17 weeks.
I’m slowly getting there, my belly isn’t that big as yet but I’ve already started wearing maternity clothes.
I’m experiencing round ligament pain and Braxton Hicks which is no fun, some heartburn, excessive drooling especially at night, I wake up multiple times to clean my face and shoulders. I sleep on my back and that doesn’t seem to help any.
Even with all these complaints, I’m so grateful that my medication works and I’m not back to all-day nausea and vomiting because that’s no fun at all.
I recently went for my first ultrasound, no waiting for 12 weeks after all!
I was measuring at 10 weeks 3 days which is about two days ahead of what my app Nurture calculated.
They do things a little different here in France and have me another set of measurements which is considered theoretical 11 weeks 4 days. From what I understand they add a week or two from the last menstrual date because predicting when implantation occurred is just not possible unless you did IVF.
So here is baby O at 10w3d.
Naveen was present for the ultrasound so he got to see his little sibling playing in my belly, he was so excited to see it on the big screen and hear the heartbeat.
I’m glad he was there to see if because he wasn’t really believing there was a baby, he kept asking if my belly got bigger.
Healthwise I seem to be having some fluffy weeks with occasional nausea that ranges from not so bad to I can’t move. I notice that the worst nausea always occurs when I’m up and about too much. I tend to take a rest and feel a little better.
I hope these weeks continue to be fluffy because I feel a little more human when I can function.
I’m 7 weeks today, the same amount weeks I was when my life shattered in 2015.
I wanted to wait until I passed this mark before sharing but life always has other plans.
Graphic thanks to Nurture App by Glow.
If you’re interested in the Nurture app you can find it on the Play Store here.
Things are so different now, I have insurance, my French is apparently good enough that I can speak to hospital staff, I am on very strong medication, Largactil which is the last step before hospitalization, and IV drugs.
And yet…
I am filled with doubts and dreading the thoughts of something bad happening, the vivid dreams are not helpful either.
Now more than ever I wish I was home where I’d be surrounded by family and love instead of stuck in my bedroom while my 5-year-old takes care of himself. I worry about him see much and trying to get up to check on him is a fall down the stairs waiting to happen. So many times I’ve gotten dizzy or nauseous and had to sit before I could continue.
I’ve successfully passed 7 weeks!
I’m now 9 weeks and 3 days, I think I can feel my uterus starting to peek out from behind my pelvic bone. Nothing big just that little feeling of firmness.
Soon my little baby will start looking like a baby and I’ll have my first ultrasound, I can’t wait for that, the days seem to drag but at least I have something to look forward to.
It’s official, I’ve been stuck on bed rest since 4w5d and I’m now 6w5d. I’ve passed every hour of every day either throwing up, stuck on a continuous loop of nauseated, or sleeping the sleep of the undead.
Yes, we’re pregnant again and yes I’m suffering once more from Hyperemesis Gravidarum.
I knew better, I knew I would never be able to experience pregnancy like a happy person, I knew I’d be sick every waking hour. I have so many boxes and boxes of medications and I’m still so sick.
My lips are dried and peeling, my skin is dry as is my hair.
This is my third pregnancy dealing with this and I don’t know what I was hoping for but I definitely didn’t find it. I’m so close to the mark where we lost the last one that I just decided to come out with it.
If you’re local to me chances are you will not see me again until after the birth. I can barely climb the stairs in my own home.
I don’t know who you are unborn baby but I’m trying everything I can to meet you.
Forgive the length of this post as it’s several of my very old blog that was barely snippets, this post goes from 17 weeks to 33 weeks. At the time I barely had any energy to write on the computer for very long so I would post a quick update and I thought it would be much better if I turned it into one cohesive post.
Before there was a belly
September 15, 2013
This is my belly at 17 weeks 1 day
The picture was taken June 9th, 2013 when I was in the last part of 4 months, it’s a small belly I know and most people would say “What baby??” but there was a baby in there, he’s still in there today, I’m now 31 weeks but I’ll leave that for another post.
Still nothing
18 weeks 4 days
This picture was taken on June 19th, 2013 when I was 5 months pregnant, can you see it?? The little bump? No? Don’t worry I could barely see it myself. I was assured that I would start to show in my 6-7th month when the baby really started to grow. I didn’t believe it at the time because it was still hard to believe that there was a baby inside there. I had no belly, no fetal movements, no doppler to hear a heartbeat, nothing to keep me believing that there was anything but fat there…yea I know fat?? I’m so twiggy I have no fat anywhere.
I think I see…
20 weeks 5 days
Wait, is that shirt sticking out just a little bit? Maybe… Still, 5 months here but my little bump was starting to show itself, at least to me it was. I could see it more in the morning when I just woke up or when I was laying on my belly. I guess with the extra fluid from my bladder it would stick my belly out, even more, it was an uncomfortable feeling though.
See, there is a belly…kinda
23 weeks
Yay 6 months but that’s not much of a belly still… Granted I had just turned 6 months so I couldn’t really expect that much growth yet. I was putting back on some weight though, my arms still look twiggy but not as bad as before. See that’s because I had to be put on medication for my severe nausea and vomiting which had diminished my body weight until I was just 83 lbs, it was not safe for me or my baby and it depressed me that I couldn’t eat or drink anything. I tried, I tried so hard to eat and drink, if you have never gone through Hyperemesis Gravidarum then you have no idea what it’s like to eat and throw up what you eat minutes and hours after you ate it keeping nothing down and still throwing up after everything was gone. My throat was shredded to the point where I was vomiting blood and losing my voice. It was not a pretty time in my life and it was happening from 6 weeks up to now even but it’s better managed now so I don’t vomit blood anymore and my episodes have been vastly reduced.
Now you see it!
25 weeks 2 days
Ah-ha! I told you there was a baby in there, my little bean was growing and now you can see my little bump. I was in the middle parts of 6 months and feeling kicks, punches, and rolling over from my bean. It was strange to see and feel.
Week 25 has been the worse since the first trimester, I am very very nauseous all day long and it’s worse at night, when he moves I get even more nauseous and recently I have been up at 2 am and 4 am in the bathroom fighting the need to vomit, sometimes I just lay on the floor and hope my belly settles, others I sit by the toilet, I sniff the cleaner, I sniff Rubbing alcohol, anything to try to stop it! The computer screen was a trigger so I usually turn it off and stick it under my bed when it’s time to sleep but any light seems to be the problem, my bedroom light, the light from the phone, my cell phone screen, I can’t take them, the moving, and my own nausea. I am up to 4 Zofran a day most of the dose being in the night, not to say mornings aren’t hellish either. I usually dry heave when I wake up and then try to go on with my day. Naveen will definitely be an only child, I can’t see doing this again or even having it worse, most if not all HG moms have it worse with each pregnancy and I don’t think my body can handle another one of these and I doubt very much that I will forget ANY of this.
It’s Getting Bigger
Week 26
Week 26 was a week of whirlwind emotions, was the first time I had ever seen the actual foot press into my belly, it was surprising because I was falling asleep and wasn’t expecting it, scared me awake, to be honest. A couple of days later, I woke up with no nausea and that was weird enough but I didn’t feel you moving much, you were kind of quiet last night too so I poked…… and nothing. I poked again still nothing, poked on the other side. Ok, maybe it was too soft, I shook my belly, you had to have felt that but nope nothing. I was getting scared, I got up still shaking and poking, maybe I would feel something, I was totally scared by the time I got downstairs to tell my sister Lissette that I had to go to the hospital because I couldn’t feel you. I have never cried more in my life than I have cried that day, all the whole time still poking and shaking hoping for something, anything!
While I was busy breaking down, Lissette packed my hospital bag but because she had her kids and Ilya just 1 month old she couldn’t come with me, she called our older sister Leia to come to stay with me. I barely even remember it all because I was out of it, was so scared I had lost my baby after coming so far, through months and months of vomiting and nausea, through going to the ER for IVs. We got to the hospital and it didn’t take them long to roll me up to Labor & Delivery in a wheelchair, they gave me an ultrasound and I absolutely refused to look, didn’t want confirmation of my worst fears but the doctor told me to look and on the screen, I saw the little heartbeat, you were still there, wasn’t moving much but still there. They didn’t like how sluggish you were so they gave me some juice, then a snack because I hadn’t eaten yet. Then they brought me lunch and hooked me up to a machine to check your heartbeat and another ultrasound to fully check you out. After eating so much food and not feeling sick at all I could feel you bouncing all over the place and they could hear your heartbeat and hear you kicking and punching. It was the best and worst day of my life.
Week 27
This is the return of my nausea, it crept back up on me slowly but surely. It started with dry heaves in the morning and progressed to throwing up bile then to actual vomiting. Now I am back to not being able to eat much or drink much. I don’t have any prescription either, I hadn’t been feeling sick at my last appointment so I didn’t ask for a refill. Now that I am so sick again I can’t get in touch with either my doctor or my nurses to get a refill on my anti-nausea meds. My next appointment is all the way in September and I have no idea if I will make it, I will try my hardest but I don’t want to lose any of the weight I had gained. I was 95 lbs before I got pregnant and lost 14 lbs to bring me down to 80 lbs, I am now 91 lbs and fighting to get back to and pass 95 lbs. I want to at least be 105 lbs before 30 weeks. Tomorrow I will be 28 weeks so I only have 2 weeks to gain all that weight.
28 weeks 5 days
I just made it to the Third trimester here, it was August 29, 2013, and I was 7 months pregnant. My belly had gotten much bigger hey, was continuing to gain weight as well although I had a major relapse with the vomiting and nausea, my prescription wasn’t doing anything for me either, I had to up my dosage and stick to a strict schedule so my body would always have medication in the system.
Looking Huge!
Week 29 This week has been even hotter than the last 103-110 degrees?! Braxton Hicks contractions, nearly passing out when I stand up, feeling faint when it takes a while to eat. At least the kids will be going back to school so I won’t have to hear screaming and running. Naveen has also wiggled his way to the bottom so now I’m getting a lot of pelvic pain as well as BH contractions and increase bladder pressure.
Week 30 Still passing out but now I can’t drink anything, no water, no fuze, no juice, not even ice pops are feeling good in my belly. I think my blood sugar is pretty high, I have to stop eating honey on my bread and putting butter on bagels. My appointment confirmed it, my blood sugar is high, I didn’t pass the glucose test so now they have me on the Gestational Diabetes diet which pretty much cuts out a lot of the things they told me to eat to gain weight. The doctor found Naveen’s head low in my pelvis and asked me if I could feel it too, I didn’t feel anything at all and thought he was talking bumpkus. Naveen didn’t much care for it because he started to move around a lot.
Week 31
Still passing out and having BH contractions, my mother is convinced that he will come in late October. My body doesn’t feel like my own anymore, it wants to tip over, I have bad backache, pelvic pain, nausea has come back. I wonder if I will ever feel normal again or if this thing has ruined my life forever. I want to be able to eat, drink, sleep, walk and not feel like I will pass out on the ground. I’m falling into depression again, when have I not been depressed this pregnancy? I’m afraid to know how it will be after he is born, will I ever be able to feel good about myself again? Will I always view him as the cause of all this? Will I love him?
31 weeks
This is me tonight, September 14, 2013, I’m in the last week of 7 months and the countdown has really begun. Just 9 weeks to go until my bean is out of there, I don’t want him coming before he is ready but I am so ready for him to be out. Do you notice how much fatter my arms look? It’s because I am now 95.2 lbs, I have gained back all the weight I lost and gained 2 ounces, it might not sound like a lot but from dropping to 83 lbs and being so sick for so long it is a major victory to me. I hope I continue to gain weight and reach 100 lbs before he is born. I have never been over 98 lbs in my life so being 100 lbs will be a lifelong dream. I wonder how much bigger my belly will get because it is giving me so much backache.
Almost there
32 weeks 5 days, I am almost to the finish line, I can’t wait for this to be over. I am so ready for my baby boy to be sleeping next to me instead of inside me. I want to watch his little face, play with his hair, and just watch the little bugger who gave me so much trouble for over 8 months. It’s almost time for you to make your appearance Navi. Excuse the picture background, we’re doing over the bathroom and it had the best lighting at night so I’m always in there to take pics.
Week 32 Falling even more into my depression, everything hurts, I’m still nauseous, I feel so alone. I’m useless, I can’t do anything and I have no money to buy anything for Naveen. The only positive thing I can say is that I get cards from the women of Beyond Morning Sickness and HelpHer.org, it feels good to know that I’m not alone and that there are people who know what I am going through. It’s more than I get from family…just one phone call or even a note would have made me feel better but I know better than to expect that. I don’t think I have ever been so depressed in my whole life before.
Week 33 Still getting nauseous, especially at night. I take a whole Unisom to help me sleep and it seems to work. I have now developed heart palpations that come on very quickly. I’m ready for him to come out and join the world instead of kicking me up in my belly and making me sick. Get out….but stay put until after my baby shower.
Crucianize 