I haven’t actually updated my blog in a while especially when it comes to my life, so I’ll do that now.
I have to actually go back to last year when I visited a Psychologist here in France; this was a court-ordered visit to find out if I was suffering from some mental disorder that caused me not to be able to speak. I never got the results so I had no idea what the results were until our next court visit in February before my 37th birthday.
The Psychologist came to the conclusion that I was Autistic; I had Selective Mutism, Generalized Anxiety, Social Anxiety, and Childhood Trauma. I thought this was an official diagnosis but apparently not, since Psychologists can’t diagnose Autism in France like they can in the US. If I want to get an official diagnosis, I will have to pay out of pocket and look for someone on my own, and I can’t afford it, so I have an answer to all the questions I’ve had for my whole life, but I don’t have paper proof that I can use for official paper if I want to apply for aid.
I’m not really surprised at this diagnosis, especially with how I grew up and how much my father and younger brother display classic signs of Autism.
Last week, something terrible happened in my family; I lost a cousin unexpectedly, and it has been really hard. My cousin Craig was like a ray of sunshine; when you were depressed and at your lowest, he would find the most insanely funny way to make you laugh; he was a champion of the disenfranchised and the first to have your back. He had an intense dislike for Roti, especially chicken roti with bones; he likened it to daggers stabbing your gums and wondered why anyone would choose to eat it.
There are days where I remember him with a smile and a laugh because I remembered something funny he said or did, and there are days when I cry deeply at the slightest reminder that he is gone. I hope my cousin knew the impact he had on the people around him and how much he is missed.
Every year I get to experience another birthday I am awed at the fact that at 16 I never expected to live to see 20 and here I am 36, a wife and a mother. I never really take notice or consider it but I am highly blessed and fortunate to have made it out of those dark days and experienced so many things that seem fantastical.
My birthdays are never really good days for me, I’ve spent so many years depressed and feeling ignored on a day others are celebrated. I don’t always get a cake or gifts, but if I get birthday greetings it always feels like an obligation, if people didn’t know my birthday they absolutely wouldn’t go out of their way to say Happy Birthday, I just wanted to feel special, for someone to be happy that on this day I was born. It seems egotistical but who doesn’t want to feel like they matter?
I could write for hours about the birthdays I felt like the dirt on the floor but I want to talk about this one, this birthday that I felt so happy for the first time in a very long time.
What made this birthday so different?
Well, I got to talk to my mother, I know you probably don’t understand why this has such an impact on me but my mother is my everything, and living in different countries with a time zone difference means that we don’t always get to talk, sometimes several months pass before I hear from her and it wasn’t like I could call her, she was always busy, didn’t have a smartphone just a basic flip phone and I didn’t have a long-distance calling phone plan. So just the fact that I got to talk to her on my birthday made me very happy.
I was expecting to stay home and do nothing, you know the same thing we did every year since I don’t even remember but my husband asked if I wanted to go out and I said yes, so we went out as a family for my birthday. We went to a restaurant I’d never been to before and I had a meal I’d never had before, it was nice all I really ever want is to do things as a family and have good memories. I know it’s directly related to how I grew up, we didn’t really do things as a family and I want different for my children.
Here’s my birthday meal, a beef tataki, I also had a mojito, I was feeling adventurous knowing that I would be drunk before I even finished that one glass.
I took some pictures of the children but none of me, not at the dinner anyway, I came home in such a good mood, this had already been one of the best days I’ve had for the year but it was about to get even better.
My husband gave me my birthday present, a bottle of my favorite perfume. L’Interdit Rouge by Givenchy, I was lucky to receive samples before and fell in love with the scent but as you guys know those perfumes are not cheap and I just kept finding reasons why I didn’t have the funds to buy it even though I loved it. I even told my husband he could buy the cheapest smallest bottle and I would be fine with it but he got me a 50ml bottle and it means so much to me. It’s not so much the perfume but the thought behind it, the knowledge that he could have gotten the cheapest option but he got me a bigger bottle because he knew I loved it. I immediately pushed aside my Alien Goddess Intense perfume that I wore every day to put my L’Interdit Rouge at the very front of my shelf so it would be the first perfume I reach for and the first anyone would see.
The time had come at last for Oyanie to go to Crèche, we visited on Monday to have a little tour and for Oyanie to meet some of the staff.
It’s not a big crèche which I find suits my personality, smaller and more intimate makes it not as anxiety provoking.
As usual I’m only following half of the conversation because I still have trouble with spoken French, from what I gathered I was to bring her on Tuesday for a little trial run. I was immediately drenched in despair, we’ve only walked to the crèche once and that was months ago, I didn’t remember how to get there. I looked at Google maps but the route was unfamiliar and I don’t do well in unfamiliar places. I get lost easily even in my own neighborhood if I don’t see familiar buildings. Another thing that bothered me is that my husband didn’t tell the staff that I was situationally non verbal, telling people I don’t speak French makes them assume I can speak which unfortunately isn’t always the case. I can manage a bonjour but that’s it.
I went to sleep wracked with anxiety and dread, we had agreed that I would take her in the afternoon since mornings are not so good good me. I barely slept, I woke up extremely tired and shaking, my hands trembled even though I was in my own home alone with my child, I didn’t eat anything, I couldn’t, I fed Oyanie, got her ready and I sat and tried to find a route to the crèche from home that would be familiar to me. I spent hours looking at the map using the steps feature, I left my house virtually at least 20 times and thought maybe, I can do this. I was not confident but I was going to try.
This isn’t a picture from yesterday, I forgot to take one but I love this picture and feel it portrays how she acted.
It was time, we left home and walked down our route but looking at Google and actually walking are two completely different things, I ended up lost and far away from where we should be. I didn’t recognize the area at all and to be honest, I was friggin scared, I had no one to ask and even if there was someone I couldn’t ask them anything. I just stood there looking at my Google map and trying to figure out how to get to the crèche or how to get back home. I tried to turn around and retrace my steps but that was difficult given that I didn’t even know where I was. I was fighting back tears and pushing the stroller hoping to see something familiar. Finally I got to a street I recognized and as quickly as I could went back home.
I broke down, I cried and I cried, I felt like a complete failure, I’m 35 years old and I can’t even do this, I forgot to mention that I did text my husband and told him I was lost and he asked me to show him where I was but I couldn’t do anything other than get back home at that moment. I didn’t feel safe, I was overwhelmed and lost and too many things and emotions were swirling at that moment. I replied once I was no longer crying and told him I was home. He tried to help me find the crèche but telling me something is on the right is like telling me a mathematical equation, I don’t know what right and left is, I can’t give or follow directions. I don’t know what south, east, north, or west is. I know my limitations and I know that feeling me to turn right here and then left there is just going to be me getting lost again.
I only take one route to school because it’s the only route I know, I don’t go an adventures alone because I know I will get lost, I need reliable routes that I recognize so I can stick to my routine otherwise nothing makes sense to me.
I know most people won’t get it and that’s fine because I know there are those who will get it and will understand.
So today, I might not have made it to my destination but I wasn’t a failure, I attempted something I never did before, I made it out of the house and I put myself into a position that I should have never had to be in but I survived.
At the end we decided to try again tomorrow, my husband told me an easier route, my son would be home with me, and I felt a little better about the situation.
I didn’t look at the map this time, there was no need, my husband explained it and I knew what I had to do, I had a new routine and I felt comfortable, we left the house and this time we made it to the crèche.
We’re not supposed to arrive early which is something I always do because I hate getting somewhere late. We had to wait until they opened the gate which was aggravating for me because that meant I was losing time that I hadn’t accounted for. Once they opened the gate and let us in I took Oyanie out of her stroller and brought her inside the building. We took off her coat, gave her her doudou and said goodbye.
She didn’t even look back, didn’t cry, didn’t make a fuss, just left to go play with her new friends.
Naveen and I started the walk back home and it takes us about 29 minutes so we had only a few minutes to sit before we had to go pick up Oyanie again.
This time she did cry, she screamed and threw a fit because she didn’t want to leave, she wanted to stay and play with her new friends. I was happy for her, she always want to play with the little kids at the school and now she has her own friends to play with.
They asked her if she wanted to come back the next day and stay for longer and she said yes. So now I’m going to take her back on Thursday to stay for two hours.
Summer has come and gone so quickly, I thought I was going to accomplish more but life showed me that I shouldn’t make plans for the future.
I meant to post this in early September when the school year had just started but we’re now heading into the fifth week of school and it’s almost October. I’ve been very behind on my blogging, but I’m here to share my update now.
My daughter is two and a half years old and she could have gone to school this September if only she was potty trained, I said to myself that I was going to potty train her over the summer break but she’s just not ready. She won’t sit on the potty, she doesn’t really say when needs to pee or poop, and she doesn’t say that she has a dirty diaper. If I don’t smell it or change her frequently she would be fine to just sit in her dirty diaper all day.
People told me that girls were easier to potty train than boys but I’m not seeing any truth in this, my son would at least sit on the potty my daughter just refuses, she will cry and scream if you even suggest it so I don’t.
I bought her some underwear to wear but she goes through them so fast that I’m beginning to see that I need much more than 20.
Slowly but surely we’ll get there so I’ll be trying not to stress too much about this.
Other than potty training woes we didn’t really do much or go anywhere.
The Village
We’ve been to The Village before, several times in fact but not frequently so we took the kids there so they could run around in the play area and have some summer fun.
After the children played we visited The Waffle Factory which is a restaurant that serves only waffles. I got waffles covered in white chocolate and Naveen got waffles and whipped cream. My husband had waffles covered in milk chocolate. Oyanie refused to eat any of the waffles and choose to drink all the lemon water instead. The waffles were a bit difficult to cut especially with the flimsy wooden fork and knife they gave us. Marvin was in the middle of cutting his waffle when his fork snapped. I joked and said he used all his muscles on it.
The Aquarium
Going to the aquarium has been a dream of mine since moving here and we finally got to go.
We decided to go in the afternoon, the drive there probably took us half an hour and we spent two hours vising all that tanks and watching short movies, Naveen and Oyanie seemed to have really enjoyed themselves and Naveen made sure to tell me all about the fishes he saw and the sharks were one of his favorites to see.
Naveen was really excited when he saw a Blue Tang, he told me he saw Dory but no Neemo, a couple of tanks over I spotted a clownfish swimming in and out of an anemone and pointed it out to him when he yelled out Mami look Neemo! it made me really happy that he could see these fish in person.
Pool time
Since we are not near to any beaches and were not planning of traveling to one this year we made do with going to my in-laws and enjoying their pool.
Both of my children love the water and do not want to leave the pool anytime they get in it. Naveen definitely got a sun tan with all his sun exposure while swimming around with my husband’s cousins as well as their own cousins.
Back to School
Back to School for us was on September 1st. Naveen is in CM1 which is the French equivalent to 4th grade. Oyanie and I had to wake up early to take him to school, pick him up for lunch, drop him back after lunch, and pick him up after school.
It was the worst experience of my life, there were so many people jammed in front of the gate all trying to force their way in to drop their children off. I felt very uneasy with people stepping over the stroller or standing right up against my back, someone even touched my butt and I hated every second I had to spend waiting in that crowd of bodies.
The second day I decided I would leave the stroller home and we’d just walk until it was lunchtime Oyanie said her feet were “fatigués” which sounded like fatigee to my ears. I thought that if she was so tired I’ll just use the stroller next time but she refused so we walked again after school she was really tired and I got the stroller out which she did not like at all. Oyanie, when she doesn’t get a chance to nap, is a monster, she screamed, she cried, she threw things, I thought for sure she would sleep in the stroller but she did not and I don’t know how to include a nap into our busy schedule. If I let her nap after we drop Naveen off after lunch I’ll have to wake her up during her nap and she hates that just as much.
I really hope I won’t have such a busy schedule next week because we both need her to have her afternoon nap.
The 2nd week
The 2nd week went by much more smoothly, we don’t use the stroller at all anymore but sometimes I wish we did, when Oyanie’s little legs get tired of walking or she stumbles and falls she wants me to pick her up and carry her on my hips and walk is a workout, when we finally reach home my whole body is sore, my shoulders ache, my back ache, my legs ache, I know she won’t go in the stroller even if I bring it though. I have also gotten used to not having to try to find space to push the stroller through.
My baby absolutely loves picking up her brother at school, she gets to walk on her own, she points out all the airplanes she sees, they are her favorites, she gets really excited when she sees one in the sky and will scream with joy and point at it. She also likes stopping to smell the flowers and picks one every chance she gets, she almost always ends up dropping it before we reach the school when Naveen finally walks out the gate she runs up to him and hugs him saying “Vee-veen!”.
I am unimportant from that point forward, she wants to hold her brother’s hand, run with him, follow him, play with him, she wants to do everything with him, unfortunately, Naveen is hitting pre-teen years which means he doesn’t always want to be with his baby sister. He will ignore her, not hold her hand or tell her to leave him alone and it breaks her heart. She cries so much when does that and then she finally remembers me and comes to me for comfort.
I remember those days so well from my own youth, my sisters frequently pushed me to the side and made me feel unwanted, I had my brothers though and I made sure never to make them feel like I didn’t want them around. I can’t force Naveen to play with his sister though, he will be nine and I recognize and understand that he needs his personal space. Still, I also recognize that with only two children they are pretty much the only close family either one will have and Oyanie just wants to spend time with her brother. I have not yet figured out a way to navigate this turbulent sea. My mother never forced my siblings and me to play together but sometimes I wished she had, maybe it wouldn’t have taken us so long to finally get along.
Cela fait un moment que je n’ai pas écrit un article sur nos aventures en tant que famille, mais pour être honnête cela fait un moment que nous ne sommes pas actifs grâce à covid.
J’ai récemment été sélectionnée comme ambassadrice d’Explore Terre de Jeux 2024, ce qui a encouragé ma famille à être plus active. Nous avons choisi des activités qui peuvent être appréciées par tous les membres de notre famille, y compris les plus jeunes !
Pour notre première aventure, nous avons visité le lac de la Rosière, à Bourgoin-Jailleu. Les enfants ont pu faire de l’exercice en jouant sur le petit terrain de jeu suivi d’une promenade autour du lac.
La petite a vraiment aimé cette activité, même si elle a eu des vertiges.
Ce fut une aventure réussie !
Pour notre prochaine aventure, nous nous sommes aventurés un peu plus loin et avons visité la Cascade de la Roche à Saint-Baudille-de-la-Tour. Nous avons marché pendant une heure, en admirant les paysages et en faisant bouger nos corps, nous avons vu la magnifique cascade et profité de l’air frais.
(En tant que photographe de la famille, je ne suis pas toujours sur les photos mais j’en ai pris quelques-unes cette fois-ci).
Je pense que nous allons vivre d’autres aventures tout en restant en forme.
Welcome back or if you’re visiting for the first time hello.
The last time I posted “The Last of them” my grandfather had just passed away and I was not in a good frame of mind. I’m doing better now, not 100% but I don’t feel like closing myself up in a deep dark hole, I got the space I needed to grieve and I’m thankful for that.
One of my nieces went on vacation to the beach and my son wanted so badly to join her but the closest beach to us is almost 5 hours away! There’s no way we’d travel that far to go to the beach. Or so I thought…
On Monday, all smug like, my son said to me “we’re going to the beach tomorrow”, Yeah right, I thought, we’re not going anywhere but his father didn’t say anything to me, then again his father waits until the very last minute to tell me anything. I’m sitting there contemplating this information and whether or not I can trust it when Marvin comes home and asks Naveen if he told me.
Told me?
Told me what?
Naveen said “yes, I tell Mama”, you mean it’s true? We’re going to the beach tomorrow?
Apparently.
I had a rough night, Oyanie kept waking up even though she was sleeping for a good six hours, this night she decided four hours was good enough. So there I was on Tuesday morning, tired as hell and have to get up to start packing and making sure we don’t forget anything.
Everything checked and double-checked, we were on our way, on our to where? I didn’t know. I just knew we were going to the beach. I mentioned before that my husband doesn’t tell me anything until the last minute? Well for trips he doesn’t tell me where we are going at all… I think he works under the misinformation that I like surprises, nothing could be further from the truth, after 10 years I’ve just accepted that he likes surprising me. I’ve never hated any of his surprises so I’ll allow it.
First, we stopped to get gas, can’t drive for so long on an empty tank eh, that done we started our long drive to the beach, at first I was admiring the scenery as we drove but that quickly turned to fatigue as we continued driving, we’d been driving for almost two hours when I felt the car slowing down, I didn’t see it ok, I fell asleep, it was a very long drive. We took a little break so we could stretch our legs, eat and drink, and just rest for a bit. We still had about two hours left of driving to go. I was curious about what kind of hotel we would be staying in this time and anticipating just dropping onto the bed and staying there for however long I would need. Sitting in the car for so long had made my back ache like there was no tomorrow.
With our little break over we were back on the road again, this passed by like a blur, I remember a lot of trees and buildings and then water, some of the water was greenish colored but the closer we got to our destination the bluer the color became.
Finally, we arrived at our destination, this wasn’t like any hotel I’d ever seen before because it wasn’t, we were staying in someone’s air b&b?
It was an apartment of sorts, the door was one of those really old European doors, an ancient wooden panel with a round knob that looks like it might fall off at any moment, it didn’t though, these doors are pretty strong despite their appearance. Inside was a kitchen slash dining slash living area. Kind of like what we have at home, there’s no definition of space in the homes I’ve visited here in France. There was an upstairs, where I assume were the bedrooms and bathroom but there was one problem.
The stairs looked like something out of my worst nightmare…
Apparently, Naveen felt the same because he refused to climb the stairs, we had no choice though, the beds were upstairs and the toilet which we would need sooner or later. His father helped him climb the ladder, I refuse to call it stairs, I followed behind gingerly placing my feet on each rung and holding onto the railing as my life depended on it. If you think going up that monstrosity was bad, going down it was worse, each rung was so narrow I had to try to climb down sideways so my feet could find purchase on each slender step. The worse thing about this was when I had to go up or down with Oyanie in my arms, There I was with my tiny baby held tightly in one arm and the other wrapped around the railing and trying to gauge how far down each step was from the other.
Naveen became a pro at the stairs, he went up and down like they were nothing, me? No such thing, I took the stairs only if I really needed to otherwise I was fine to stay upstairs or downstairs wherever I was at the moment.
We didn’t end up going to the beach the first day because it would take another hour and we had reacher too late to go to the beach. We did visit an old wash station where there was a river flowing through. Naveen told his father he didn’t want to go to the beach anymore, he was content to stay here and enjoy the river, we didn’t come all this way for the river though. We were going to drive to the beach the next day.
A semi-good night’s sleep, Ms. Oyanie was up every four hours again, we had breakfast and relaxed a bit before heading to the beach around noon. The drive was interesting, we followed a canal of water along a very small road, you literally had to ride the wall to let another car pass, at the end of the canal was the beach.
I’ll be completely honest, being from the Caribbean I grew up with white sand, blue waters, literally beaches of your dreams, this, was not it. First things first, the sand, more like dirt was speckled with something gold that felt like dust on your skin if it touched you. The water was not beckoning at all, add in that there were so many people there, my anxiety went sky high and I was content to stay on the bench we scored under the very shady tree. Marvin asked me if I wanted to go in the water and it was a big no. I’m fine love.
We spent about two hours there, Naveen enjoyed himself immensely, Oyanie stayed with me most, and Marvin went in the water with Naveen, everybody enjoyed themself and it was time to drive back to the apartment.
Had an okay night, it was time to head back home which meant another long drive, strangely, going up and down those horrifying stairs gave me muscle aches in my legs, I will not miss them at all. And because I completely forgot that Oyanie made five months yesterday I decided to take some pictures, she was not cooperating at all so I got many many very similar pictures lol. I thought I had settled on the best picture but I felt like the background was too busy and you couldn’t see her face well enough so I moved locations and voilà, the month 5 picture.
This drive I did better, I didn’t fall asleep so I saw some cool things like this church? on top of the hill, not sure you can really see it in the picture.
Also saw this really cute tiny castle on a roundabout.
Finally, we were back home!
This trip wasn’t the only thing I was up to, I also found this really interesting app on the app store, you upload a picture and people try to guess where you are from, it said to input the furthest back your ancestry went so I entered France and Nigeria. Trying out the app I realized that I really can’t tell where people are from, I get lucky sometimes but for the most part, I guess very wrongly.
Here’s what people guessed for me:
The last interesting thing I have to talk about is a secret campaign I was selected for. I can’t say what I’m supposed to review yet but when the package arrived I’ll write a post about it. Stay tuned for that!
That’s what my grandfather would call me. Said in his Dominican (Dominica) accented English.
I have so many wonderful memories of him and with him. I can still hear him calling my brother Andre Champagne or hear him playing the guitar with us children gathered round in that little house in Peter’s Rest.
I can see his photography hanging on the walls of my parent’s home. It was through him that I developed a love of photography, I always hoped that I could someday be as good as he was, I haven’t used my camera in a very long time and that makes this so much worse to me.
I remember the Werther’s candy he always had for us kids. I loved them and will always think of my Grandpa when I see them. They don’t taste the same but I’ll buy a pack the next time I see one and just pretend for a moment that it’s the same one you used to share.
I remember that one year when you had so many Sonic the Hedgehog tops, my brothers and I would color on a piece of paper, cut it out to fit on top of the top, and watch the pretty patterns it would make as it spun in a circle.
I remember the last time I saw you, 2015, my mother brought me and my son to see you before we left the island for France. You held onto us and prayed for our safe journey.
I didn’t grow up knowing my great grandparents but I’ll be damned if my children don’t know about their great grandfather Norbert.
My grandfather was my last living grandparent, he fought that cancer for 18 long months, every message from home I dreaded those words, I knew it was coming but still…
Annecy, a city found in the Haute-Savoie department of France. It’s located in the southeastern part of France, where Lake Annecy feeds into the Thiou River, this city has been on my bucket list for a few years.
I especially wanted to see Lake Annecy, La Vieille Ville, Pont des Amours, and Palais de l’Ile.
We left on Saturday around 12 pm, the drive took around 2hrs, the weather was not the best, it was overcast and pretty chilly, yes, chilly in June! We’ve been having temperatures in the 50s which are about 12° Celsius.
As we were driving my son would get really excited seeing the clouds covering the mountains and driving through mist.
The most exciting thing though was driving through the mountains! I don’t mean over the mountains either, we drive through tunnels that went through the belly of the mountains, twice, and each time it was crazy.
Yeah, yeah, you might have don’t this before, probably many times, for us especially coming from an island without any mountains it was something really special to see and experience. I only wish I had taken a picture.
We reached the hotel about 2:55 or so, it was raining a bit and my husband realized we had forgotten the baby carrier, so there we were sans stroller and carrier so my husband had to heft the bag with our stuff and the little miss.
We hurried into the hotel and quickly got our room key, strangely enough, there was only one key so we either had to all go out at the same time or some go and others stay behind. It was an ok hotel from the little I saw on our way to the room, there was a game room where Naveen wanted to spend some time. The elevator ride was terrible, it was so jerky, and I got bad motion sickness.
When we arrived at the room I noticed it was kind of small, there were two full-size beds, one fairly close to the door and the other closer to the opposite wall, Naveen was only too happy to have such a big bed all to himself. I think miss lady believed the other one was for her.
We took a little rest, change Oyanie’s diaper and feed her then we were off!
First, we stopped at Burger King so that the bigger people could eat then we visited the lake, the rain was still coming down because we were closer to the lake the wind was really strong and those two things made it pretty cold.
Without the carrier, Oyanie ended up wrapped in her father’s coat, we tried to keep her as warm as possible while taking in the sights.
The Pont des Amours wasn’t far from the lake, just had to keep walking and there we were, a little ways from the bridge I spotted a giant bow and arrow. I haven’t been able to find any information on it yet but I probably am not searching for the right terms.
Pont des AmoursGiant Bow and Arrow
Naveen was only too happy to have space to run around and explore. He wanted to keep walking but it was still raining and Oyanie was getting tired. We decided to head back to the hotel.
For dinner we had pizza from Domino’s, it’s been many years since I’ve had a pizza from there, I found the pizzas to be pretty small, we ordered two and had really tiny containers of ice cream and some kind of dessert with chocolate. I didn’t eat the chocolate dessert. The ice cream was enough for me.
It was a bit difficult to get Oyanie to sleep and after trying and trying she finally went to sleep but I ended up not being able to fall asleep, I don’t know if I was too hot or if I was just too wired to sleep, whatever it was I ended up just laying there twisting and turning the whole night.
My phone was charging in Marvin’s side of the bed and I didn’t want to wake anyone up trying to reach so I tried to wait patiently until everyone woke up. Thankfully Marvin woke up long enough to hand me my phone.
Finally, everyone was up and it was time to check out of the hotel but first Oyanie got a bottle.
I hadn’t noticed it before when we arrived but downstairs in the lobby, there’s a statue of a red cow.
Everyone was hungry so we decided to go to the bakery, unfortunately, the bakery had a long line as they only allowed one customer in at a time, we were too hungry to wait in line so we took a walk looking for other places to eat.
Every so often Marvin would stop to look at menus or Naveen would watch stalls with people selling toys.
Finally, after walking for what seemed like forever, we went intoFrench Coffee Shop, Marvin asked me what I wanted and I looked over the offerings. There were lots of muffins and some other things but what caught my attention was the cheesecake. I don’t know if I’ve ever mentioned it before but I love cheesecake, if I see it I will always want it, so when Marvin asked me again what I wanted without hesitation I said cheesecake.
Now, things could have gone either good or bad because not everyone can make cheesecake.
Thankfully, this was not the case, nope, this cheesecake was delicious, it was utterly divine like if anyone would have tried to ask me to taste some I’d stuff the whole thing in my mouth or lick it.
I had to restrain myself from licking the cardboard but I sure did lick the spoon. Breakfast over with, we walked back to the car and began the drive to go home.
Now, we’re home, I’m very tired so will probably end this here.
She actually made two months yesterday and I forgot to post it.
my bad
Madame Oyanie can roll from her belly onto her back but has yet to master rolling from her back to her belly. She smiles occasionally and never when I have my camera. I’ll get a picture one day…
She is starting to”talk” to us but she prefers to stare with those big beautiful eyes.
I honestly can’t believe it’s been two months already, it feels like she’s been here forever.
It’s almost 3 am and my one-month-old is still fighting sleep, we’ve been battling for a good two hours, she’s been fed, burped, and has a clean diaper. I rock her and her eyes close but as soon as I put her down she cries so I have to start again. I want to cry. I’m running on empty and trying my hardest but it doesn’t seem to be enough.
Finally, after what seems like forever she settles down and falls asleep.
It’s 6 am, my husband is getting up to get ready to go to work, and because I’m a light sleeper I’m awake. I’m fatigued and hope I can get back to sleep. It takes a while but I manage it.
It’s 8 am and my son is waking up, he opens his bedroom door which makes a sound, and wakes me up. I’m bleary-eyed and tired but I know he’ll watch TV and he has everything he needs to make a sandwich so I stay in bed.
I can’t fall back asleep, I want to so badly but it’s not happening, I pick up my phone and check my notifications, I scroll through Facebook, Instagram, Reddit, and my various genealogy and social sites. The baby is squirming I know she’ll be up soon.
My son is playing a video game and he’s not winning, I can tell from his anguished screams, my nerves start to fray. It’s 10 am, I think about my life choices and how I ended up here.
Time passes and the baby is now awake and looking for food.
Crucianize 