If you are like me and have never heard of this term before let me introduce you to the suggested name for the music coming out of the US Virgin Islands right now.
What exactly is B.R.A.M?
B.R.A.M is an accronym for Bass Rhythm and Music, someone jokingly said that it sounds just like the noise your car makes when you play the music bram bram bram.
I thought this was a new term the youths were coming up with shhh I know I am very close to what is considered middle aged now but this term is not new, apparently it has been suggested way back in 2020 or 2021. No confirmation on the exact date but take a glance at this instagram post below.
If you still have no idea what B.R.A.M is supposed to sound like don’t worry, I have found a song on Youtube for you to listen to. I will show you the difference between VI Soca and B.R.A.M. This is Virgin Islands B.R.A.M.
What is the difference between this and VI Soca? B.R.A.M seems to be a more modern fusion sound, they have a heavier influence of electronic music and relies more on dancehall and hip-hop. VI Soca has a more traditional sound with a stronger emphasis on brass instruments and relies more on calypso, reggae and funk. Here’s a youtube of VI Soca to enjoy.
How do I feel about B.R.A.M? It’s okay, I grew up with Soca and Calypso so those will always be my preferred music genres from the VI but it won’t stop me from listening to music and adding new artists to my expansive music collection. I listen to pretty much everything so I can always appreciate something new.
I haven’t actually updated my blog in a while especially when it comes to my life, so I’ll do that now.
I have to actually go back to last year when I visited a Psychologist here in France; this was a court-ordered visit to find out if I was suffering from some mental disorder that caused me not to be able to speak. I never got the results so I had no idea what the results were until our next court visit in February before my 37th birthday.
The Psychologist came to the conclusion that I was Autistic; I had Selective Mutism, Generalized Anxiety, Social Anxiety, and Childhood Trauma. I thought this was an official diagnosis but apparently not, since Psychologists can’t diagnose Autism in France like they can in the US. If I want to get an official diagnosis, I will have to pay out of pocket and look for someone on my own, and I can’t afford it, so I have an answer to all the questions I’ve had for my whole life, but I don’t have paper proof that I can use for official paper if I want to apply for aid.
I’m not really surprised at this diagnosis, especially with how I grew up and how much my father and younger brother display classic signs of Autism.
Last week, something terrible happened in my family; I lost a cousin unexpectedly, and it has been really hard. My cousin Craig was like a ray of sunshine; when you were depressed and at your lowest, he would find the most insanely funny way to make you laugh; he was a champion of the disenfranchised and the first to have your back. He had an intense dislike for Roti, especially chicken roti with bones; he likened it to daggers stabbing your gums and wondered why anyone would choose to eat it.
There are days where I remember him with a smile and a laugh because I remembered something funny he said or did, and there are days when I cry deeply at the slightest reminder that he is gone. I hope my cousin knew the impact he had on the people around him and how much he is missed.
Retour sur le mois de février, mon mois de naissance et celui de ma fille, et n’oublions pas que ce n’est pas pour rien qu’on l’appelle le mois de l’amour.
Ce mois n’a pas été très chargé, que ce soit au niveau des produits ou de la vie personnelle. J’ai beaucoup apprécié mon anniversaire et si vous ne l’avez pas encore fait, vous pouvez lire l’article que j’ai écrit à ce sujet sur mon blog. J’ai acheté beaucoup de rouges à lèvres, ce que je ne fais pas d’habitude, mais c’était un cadeau d’anniversaire pour moi, j’ai aussi fait mon premier produit sponsorisé avec YesStyle. Jetons un coup d’œil sur ce que j’ai fait en février.
En toute honnêteté, je n’ai pas pris ces produits tous les jours, j’ai sauté quelques jours, ce qui ne devrait rien changer, mais je ne suis pas convaincue qu’un supplément aide à la croissance des cheveux et des ongles.
Ready to turn up the volume on your pout? Check out my review of ELF Cosmetics’ new O Face Lipstick, where I share my first-hand experience of buying and trying these bold new shades!
Every year I get to experience another birthday I am awed at the fact that at 16 I never expected to live to see 20 and here I am 36, a wife and a mother. I never really take notice or consider it but I am highly blessed and fortunate to have made it out of those dark days and experienced so many things that seem fantastical.
Tout d’abord, je tiens à préciser que cet article contient une évaluation d’un produit sponsorisé. Le produit m’a été offert gratuitement pour que je puisse le commenter en toute honnêteté.
J’ai toujours entendu parler de ce masque à lèvres et j’ai finalement cédé à la pression et décidé d’acheter la version mini pour voir par moi-même. J’ai acheté la version mini parce que ce produit est très cher et que je ne savais pas à quoi m’attendre. La version mini m’a donc semblé être l’option la plus sûre à acheter pour voir si je l’aimais comme tout le monde.
Disons que je suis vraiment contente de ne pas avoir acheté une taille plus grande.
Every year I get to experience another birthday I am awed at the fact that at 16 I never expected to live to see 20 and here I am 36, a wife and a mother. I never really take notice or consider it but I am highly blessed and fortunate to have made it out of those dark days and experienced so many things that seem fantastical.
My birthdays are never really good days for me, I’ve spent so many years depressed and feeling ignored on a day others are celebrated. I don’t always get a cake or gifts, but if I get birthday greetings it always feels like an obligation, if people didn’t know my birthday they absolutely wouldn’t go out of their way to say Happy Birthday, I just wanted to feel special, for someone to be happy that on this day I was born. It seems egotistical but who doesn’t want to feel like they matter?
I could write for hours about the birthdays I felt like the dirt on the floor but I want to talk about this one, this birthday that I felt so happy for the first time in a very long time.
What made this birthday so different?
Well, I got to talk to my mother, I know you probably don’t understand why this has such an impact on me but my mother is my everything, and living in different countries with a time zone difference means that we don’t always get to talk, sometimes several months pass before I hear from her and it wasn’t like I could call her, she was always busy, didn’t have a smartphone just a basic flip phone and I didn’t have a long-distance calling phone plan. So just the fact that I got to talk to her on my birthday made me very happy.
I was expecting to stay home and do nothing, you know the same thing we did every year since I don’t even remember but my husband asked if I wanted to go out and I said yes, so we went out as a family for my birthday. We went to a restaurant I’d never been to before and I had a meal I’d never had before, it was nice all I really ever want is to do things as a family and have good memories. I know it’s directly related to how I grew up, we didn’t really do things as a family and I want different for my children.
Here’s my birthday meal, a beef tataki, I also had a mojito, I was feeling adventurous knowing that I would be drunk before I even finished that one glass.
I took some pictures of the children but none of me, not at the dinner anyway, I came home in such a good mood, this had already been one of the best days I’ve had for the year but it was about to get even better.
My husband gave me my birthday present, a bottle of my favorite perfume. L’Interdit Rouge by Givenchy, I was lucky to receive samples before and fell in love with the scent but as you guys know those perfumes are not cheap and I just kept finding reasons why I didn’t have the funds to buy it even though I loved it. I even told my husband he could buy the cheapest smallest bottle and I would be fine with it but he got me a 50ml bottle and it means so much to me. It’s not so much the perfume but the thought behind it, the knowledge that he could have gotten the cheapest option but he got me a bigger bottle because he knew I loved it. I immediately pushed aside my Alien Goddess Intense perfume that I wore every day to put my L’Interdit Rouge at the very front of my shelf so it would be the first perfume I reach for and the first anyone would see.
Retour sur le premier mois de l’année. Pouvez-vous croire que le premier mois de l’année est déjà terminé ? Oui, moi non plus.
La période a été plutôt bonne pour les tests de produits, mais plutôt vide sur le plan de la vie personnelle. Le 14 janvier, nous avons visité le parc de trampolines Krapa pour l’anniversaire de mon neveu. Le 18 janvier, nous avons visité la bibliothèque, joué avec des puzzles et des jeux, vu de la neige et pris un petit-déjeuner léger à la boulangerie. Nous avons fait à peu près la même chose la semaine suivante, sauf qu’il n’y avait pas de neige et qu’Oyanie s’ennuyait beaucoup et ne voulait pas être là. Le 29 janvier, nous avons fait quelque chose que nous n’avions pas fait depuis très longtemps, nous sommes allés manger au Buffalo Grill, c’était la première fois qu’Oyanie y allait, et pour être honnête, c’était aussi la mienne puisque c’était différent de ce dont je me souvenais. Faisons un petit tour dans ma chronologie de janvier.
Pour ma première utilisation des produits de Drunk Elephant, j’ai été un peu déçue, je m’attendais à quelque chose de haute qualité, vu que tout le monde s’extasie sur les produits, ils sont corrects mais ne me donnent pas cette sensation de NECESSITE D’AVOIR.
J’ai eu beaucoup de plaisir à découvrir cette marque et j’ai hâte d’acheter des produits de cette marque à l’avenir. J’espère que vous, lecteurs, avez trouvé quelque chose d’intéressant que vous pourriez vouloir pour vous-même. Vous pouvez trouver ces produits et d’autres encore chez Absolution Cosmetics.
En tant que personne souffrant de gencives sensibles, ce bain de bouche est très apprécié, il n’y a pas de sensation de picotement car il ne contient pas d’alcool qui peut être assez irritant si vous avez des gencives sensibles.
Krapa Trampoline Park
Je n’ai vraiment pas pris de photos pendant que nous étions là-bas, mais j’ai pris celle-ci. Les enfants se sont vraiment amusés à jouer avec leurs cousins et à courir dans tous les sens pour dépenser leur énergie.
J’ai utilisé la poudre solaire et maintenant la poudre anti-brillance. Je n’ai pas encore utilisé de poudre fixante, mais je vais peut-être en essayer une pour voir si elle peut aider mes fonds de teint qui se transfèrent.
Je suis sûre que ces produits fonctionnent pour certaines personnes, celles qui en ont réellement besoin, mais je ne fais apparemment pas partie de ces personnes.
As I was writing this post I realized that I’ve had a very busy year! I tested so many new products, had some nice breakthroughs in my genealogy journey, and had some new life experiences.
Like every year I contemplate whether or not I should continue this blog, the cost of hosting my own blog has been weighing heavily on my mind, if I go back to a blog that’s hosted by a company I risk losing all the freedom of creating my own space but I won’t have to worry about the cost but then again I also won’t have my own domain name.
Why am I blogging though? Why do I stress myself about writing posts that many people won’t even find interesting? For those that will, I guess, do I abandon those who do enjoy hearing my thoughts and following my blog? I think maybe not, at least not at this point.
I have added all the posts I did this year in Chronological order with links to them so it will be easier to find if any of them pique your interest.
Looking back at all my posts, October and November were my busiest months both coming in with 8 posts, August was my least productive with no posts, and January and March are tied with both months only having one post.
I already know next January will be more productive as I have a few products due to arrive either this week or early January, I can’t wait to share with you the new products and adventures I will have.
The time had come at last for Oyanie to go to Crèche, we visited on Monday to have a little tour and for Oyanie to meet some of the staff.
It’s not a big crèche which I find suits my personality, smaller and more intimate makes it not as anxiety provoking.
As usual I’m only following half of the conversation because I still have trouble with spoken French, from what I gathered I was to bring her on Tuesday for a little trial run. I was immediately drenched in despair, we’ve only walked to the crèche once and that was months ago, I didn’t remember how to get there. I looked at Google maps but the route was unfamiliar and I don’t do well in unfamiliar places. I get lost easily even in my own neighborhood if I don’t see familiar buildings. Another thing that bothered me is that my husband didn’t tell the staff that I was situationally non verbal, telling people I don’t speak French makes them assume I can speak which unfortunately isn’t always the case. I can manage a bonjour but that’s it.
I went to sleep wracked with anxiety and dread, we had agreed that I would take her in the afternoon since mornings are not so good good me. I barely slept, I woke up extremely tired and shaking, my hands trembled even though I was in my own home alone with my child, I didn’t eat anything, I couldn’t, I fed Oyanie, got her ready and I sat and tried to find a route to the crèche from home that would be familiar to me. I spent hours looking at the map using the steps feature, I left my house virtually at least 20 times and thought maybe, I can do this. I was not confident but I was going to try.
This isn’t a picture from yesterday, I forgot to take one but I love this picture and feel it portrays how she acted.
It was time, we left home and walked down our route but looking at Google and actually walking are two completely different things, I ended up lost and far away from where we should be. I didn’t recognize the area at all and to be honest, I was friggin scared, I had no one to ask and even if there was someone I couldn’t ask them anything. I just stood there looking at my Google map and trying to figure out how to get to the crèche or how to get back home. I tried to turn around and retrace my steps but that was difficult given that I didn’t even know where I was. I was fighting back tears and pushing the stroller hoping to see something familiar. Finally I got to a street I recognized and as quickly as I could went back home.
I broke down, I cried and I cried, I felt like a complete failure, I’m 35 years old and I can’t even do this, I forgot to mention that I did text my husband and told him I was lost and he asked me to show him where I was but I couldn’t do anything other than get back home at that moment. I didn’t feel safe, I was overwhelmed and lost and too many things and emotions were swirling at that moment. I replied once I was no longer crying and told him I was home. He tried to help me find the crèche but telling me something is on the right is like telling me a mathematical equation, I don’t know what right and left is, I can’t give or follow directions. I don’t know what south, east, north, or west is. I know my limitations and I know that feeling me to turn right here and then left there is just going to be me getting lost again.
I only take one route to school because it’s the only route I know, I don’t go an adventures alone because I know I will get lost, I need reliable routes that I recognize so I can stick to my routine otherwise nothing makes sense to me.
I know most people won’t get it and that’s fine because I know there are those who will get it and will understand.
So today, I might not have made it to my destination but I wasn’t a failure, I attempted something I never did before, I made it out of the house and I put myself into a position that I should have never had to be in but I survived.
At the end we decided to try again tomorrow, my husband told me an easier route, my son would be home with me, and I felt a little better about the situation.
I didn’t look at the map this time, there was no need, my husband explained it and I knew what I had to do, I had a new routine and I felt comfortable, we left the house and this time we made it to the crèche.
We’re not supposed to arrive early which is something I always do because I hate getting somewhere late. We had to wait until they opened the gate which was aggravating for me because that meant I was losing time that I hadn’t accounted for. Once they opened the gate and let us in I took Oyanie out of her stroller and brought her inside the building. We took off her coat, gave her her doudou and said goodbye.
She didn’t even look back, didn’t cry, didn’t make a fuss, just left to go play with her new friends.
Naveen and I started the walk back home and it takes us about 29 minutes so we had only a few minutes to sit before we had to go pick up Oyanie again.
This time she did cry, she screamed and threw a fit because she didn’t want to leave, she wanted to stay and play with her new friends. I was happy for her, she always want to play with the little kids at the school and now she has her own friends to play with.
They asked her if she wanted to come back the next day and stay for longer and she said yes. So now I’m going to take her back on Thursday to stay for two hours.
Summer has come and gone so quickly, I thought I was going to accomplish more but life showed me that I shouldn’t make plans for the future.
I meant to post this in early September when the school year had just started but we’re now heading into the fifth week of school and it’s almost October. I’ve been very behind on my blogging, but I’m here to share my update now.
My daughter is two and a half years old and she could have gone to school this September if only she was potty trained, I said to myself that I was going to potty train her over the summer break but she’s just not ready. She won’t sit on the potty, she doesn’t really say when needs to pee or poop, and she doesn’t say that she has a dirty diaper. If I don’t smell it or change her frequently she would be fine to just sit in her dirty diaper all day.
People told me that girls were easier to potty train than boys but I’m not seeing any truth in this, my son would at least sit on the potty my daughter just refuses, she will cry and scream if you even suggest it so I don’t.
I bought her some underwear to wear but she goes through them so fast that I’m beginning to see that I need much more than 20.
Slowly but surely we’ll get there so I’ll be trying not to stress too much about this.
Other than potty training woes we didn’t really do much or go anywhere.
The Village
We’ve been to The Village before, several times in fact but not frequently so we took the kids there so they could run around in the play area and have some summer fun.
After the children played we visited The Waffle Factory which is a restaurant that serves only waffles. I got waffles covered in white chocolate and Naveen got waffles and whipped cream. My husband had waffles covered in milk chocolate. Oyanie refused to eat any of the waffles and choose to drink all the lemon water instead. The waffles were a bit difficult to cut especially with the flimsy wooden fork and knife they gave us. Marvin was in the middle of cutting his waffle when his fork snapped. I joked and said he used all his muscles on it.
The Aquarium
Going to the aquarium has been a dream of mine since moving here and we finally got to go.
We decided to go in the afternoon, the drive there probably took us half an hour and we spent two hours vising all that tanks and watching short movies, Naveen and Oyanie seemed to have really enjoyed themselves and Naveen made sure to tell me all about the fishes he saw and the sharks were one of his favorites to see.
Naveen was really excited when he saw a Blue Tang, he told me he saw Dory but no Neemo, a couple of tanks over I spotted a clownfish swimming in and out of an anemone and pointed it out to him when he yelled out Mami look Neemo! it made me really happy that he could see these fish in person.
Pool time
Since we are not near to any beaches and were not planning of traveling to one this year we made do with going to my in-laws and enjoying their pool.
Both of my children love the water and do not want to leave the pool anytime they get in it. Naveen definitely got a sun tan with all his sun exposure while swimming around with my husband’s cousins as well as their own cousins.
Back to School
Back to School for us was on September 1st. Naveen is in CM1 which is the French equivalent to 4th grade. Oyanie and I had to wake up early to take him to school, pick him up for lunch, drop him back after lunch, and pick him up after school.
It was the worst experience of my life, there were so many people jammed in front of the gate all trying to force their way in to drop their children off. I felt very uneasy with people stepping over the stroller or standing right up against my back, someone even touched my butt and I hated every second I had to spend waiting in that crowd of bodies.
The second day I decided I would leave the stroller home and we’d just walk until it was lunchtime Oyanie said her feet were “fatigués” which sounded like fatigee to my ears. I thought that if she was so tired I’ll just use the stroller next time but she refused so we walked again after school she was really tired and I got the stroller out which she did not like at all. Oyanie, when she doesn’t get a chance to nap, is a monster, she screamed, she cried, she threw things, I thought for sure she would sleep in the stroller but she did not and I don’t know how to include a nap into our busy schedule. If I let her nap after we drop Naveen off after lunch I’ll have to wake her up during her nap and she hates that just as much.
I really hope I won’t have such a busy schedule next week because we both need her to have her afternoon nap.
The 2nd week
The 2nd week went by much more smoothly, we don’t use the stroller at all anymore but sometimes I wish we did, when Oyanie’s little legs get tired of walking or she stumbles and falls she wants me to pick her up and carry her on my hips and walk is a workout, when we finally reach home my whole body is sore, my shoulders ache, my back ache, my legs ache, I know she won’t go in the stroller even if I bring it though. I have also gotten used to not having to try to find space to push the stroller through.
My baby absolutely loves picking up her brother at school, she gets to walk on her own, she points out all the airplanes she sees, they are her favorites, she gets really excited when she sees one in the sky and will scream with joy and point at it. She also likes stopping to smell the flowers and picks one every chance she gets, she almost always ends up dropping it before we reach the school when Naveen finally walks out the gate she runs up to him and hugs him saying “Vee-veen!”.
I am unimportant from that point forward, she wants to hold her brother’s hand, run with him, follow him, play with him, she wants to do everything with him, unfortunately, Naveen is hitting pre-teen years which means he doesn’t always want to be with his baby sister. He will ignore her, not hold her hand or tell her to leave him alone and it breaks her heart. She cries so much when does that and then she finally remembers me and comes to me for comfort.
I remember those days so well from my own youth, my sisters frequently pushed me to the side and made me feel unwanted, I had my brothers though and I made sure never to make them feel like I didn’t want them around. I can’t force Naveen to play with his sister though, he will be nine and I recognize and understand that he needs his personal space. Still, I also recognize that with only two children they are pretty much the only close family either one will have and Oyanie just wants to spend time with her brother. I have not yet figured out a way to navigate this turbulent sea. My mother never forced my siblings and me to play together but sometimes I wished she had, maybe it wouldn’t have taken us so long to finally get along.
I am or used to be an avid reader, I used to read about 100 books a year and always wanted a Kindle so that I could bring all my books with me instead of trying to bring several physical books.
Since I found out about ebooks I would read on my phone usually with the Kindle app or an E-reader app like Moon+Reader but I wanted an actual e-reader because it was better for your eyes and I would get terrible eye strains reading on my phone for hours.
It was actually a gift request I had for years and my husband bought me a really cheap off brand e-reader that couldn’t even load my books or Kindle app. He tried his best but a Prestigio is not a Kindle. This Prestigio would frequently freeze or not load and I would get so frustrated with it, when buying an E-reader that’s inexpensive go for the inexpensive not cheap because cheap is always lost money even if it was just 40€.
So after years and years of wanting a Kindle in June 2021 I finally bought one when it was on sale!
I was so happy, a dream that finally came through, I immediately side loaded my books from Google play and other epubs I had gotten over the years and synced my Kindle library, over 100 books and not even a dent in the memory!
But my happiness was not to be…
My daughter was one at the time and I foolishly left the Kindle on the bed side table where she could reach it. I had only received the Kindle two days before this post.
I looked everywhere for the Kindle, in the dirty clothes hamper, behind the bed side table, under the bed, under her crib, I did not look in the bag of dirty diapers before I threw it away and after the fact I was so scared she had put it in there.
Almost a year went by and I had given up hope that I would ever find the Kindle, I was trying to figure out if I should just buy a new one but I’d have to wait for it to go on sale again and I had no idea when that would be. I tried to go back to reading on my phone but it just wasn’t the same.
And then it happened.
When they say you find something when you least expect it they are not lying, I was going through some of my daughter’s old clothes to see what to get rid off and there my Kindle was in the bag, I don’t even remember this bag of clothes being in the bedroom where she could reach.
Needless to say I don’t leave my Kindle where she can reach, most of the time, sometimes I forget but I always remember at the least minute because it takes one time for your Kindle to be abducted and hidden.
Cela fait un moment que je n’ai pas écrit un article sur nos aventures en tant que famille, mais pour être honnête cela fait un moment que nous ne sommes pas actifs grâce à covid.
J’ai récemment été sélectionnée comme ambassadrice d’Explore Terre de Jeux 2024, ce qui a encouragé ma famille à être plus active. Nous avons choisi des activités qui peuvent être appréciées par tous les membres de notre famille, y compris les plus jeunes !
Pour notre première aventure, nous avons visité le lac de la Rosière, à Bourgoin-Jailleu. Les enfants ont pu faire de l’exercice en jouant sur le petit terrain de jeu suivi d’une promenade autour du lac.
La petite a vraiment aimé cette activité, même si elle a eu des vertiges.
Ce fut une aventure réussie !
Pour notre prochaine aventure, nous nous sommes aventurés un peu plus loin et avons visité la Cascade de la Roche à Saint-Baudille-de-la-Tour. Nous avons marché pendant une heure, en admirant les paysages et en faisant bouger nos corps, nous avons vu la magnifique cascade et profité de l’air frais.
(En tant que photographe de la famille, je ne suis pas toujours sur les photos mais j’en ai pris quelques-unes cette fois-ci).
Je pense que nous allons vivre d’autres aventures tout en restant en forme.
Crucianize 